Nothing's Written in Stone
by Sweetmaj010
Summary: Sequel to Final Goodbye. Angel gets a second chance and he plans to keep it by any means necessary. Nothing is gone forever and goodbyes aren't written in stone. New obstacles stand in their way but they finally know the seceret of living...love!
1. Chapter 1

**_Sequel__ to final goodbyes: Goodbyes aren't Written in Stone_**

**_disclaimers i don't own Buffy or Angel_**

_ This time- john legend_

_Ran into you yesterday__  
><em>_Memories rushed through my brain__  
><em>_it started to hit me__  
><em>_now you're not with me__  
><em>_I realized I made a mistake__  
><em>_I thought I needed some space__  
><em>_But I just let love go to waste__  
><em>_It's so crystal clear now__  
><em>_that I need your here now__  
><em>_I gotta get you back today_

It's been three months since my beloved's death. I hope and pray that somehow it's going to get easier but who am I kidding in all my 250 years I have never felt so alone. I wake up every night and I felt like I betrayed her. How is it fair that that I'm here when someone so pure is not. My girl; the one who couldn't be broken.

I needed to get away from all their pity and symphony; I just couldn't take it anymore. It made things real and all I could think about is seeing her one last time. Inhaling that vanilla scent of hers or laughing at one of her clever remarks. I would give anything to hold her in my arms again; this time I would be selfish and never let go. I'm such a fool, I should have treasured every moment with her; found a way around the curse. But instead I have broken her heart so many times and pushed her away when really all I wanted was for her to stay. Now, I got my wish. She's finally safe from me and I know that without a doubt that my baby is in heaven. I fell empty and numb but coming to this monk place I've been soul searching trying to find inner peace. Trying to get a feel for where she has gone and when I reach far enough I never felt more loved, so free. That must be what heaven feels like, and the pain I'm feeling is a fate worse than hell.

I still remember going to her grave site every second is etched in my mind. It was surreal and I stood there just watching the ground hoping it would rise. A part of my beloved is better than nothing, but she would not rise again. When the fates took her from me they made sure she was dead. I life my gaze and read the head stone. I wished it was more on it, but she was always modesty. She would have liked it. She saved the world a lot is what is engraved on it and the statement was the truest thing I ever read because she saved mine. I read how she was a beloved sister and daughter, and friend, but there are no words that tell how she was a beloved mate. For a moment I am jealous that her friends had what I could not. They had her and now she was all alone; I felt like I couldn't leave her. So I stated till the first hours of dawn and left before the sun came up. As I stayed I talked about any and everything reminiscing and finally my final good bye.

"_Hello lover, I never wanted this day to come. You asked me if forever worked for you so now, I'm going to seat here and tell you that I'm perfectly okay with that. Forever with you doesn't seem long enough but I'll take what I can get. I always wanted you save and sound, never here, but I guess you are safe now huh. No one could touch you now. The world without you isn't as bright anymore. No matter what ever happened between us you were the only woman I have ever loved. You may be gone but I will love you till the end of time. I'm sorry I left you, but I am so happy that I got the honor of knowing you and loving you I never thought you could love a demon like me. _

_This is all surreal just this morning I swear that we were making wild passionate love. I was so happy to see you when I walked through those doors. In my heart I know that it was real. You think you're so slick getting me to promise you that I'll keep going without you knowing that all I want to do is stay here and watch the sunrise. You must have help from the powers. They need their champion but I don't think I'm him any more a part of me is buried with you. I don't want to leave you but I broken to many promises and this one I hope to keep. Never doubt my love for you", I say as I get up wiping the tears and left Sunnydale and her behind. I didn't look back because that would have been too tempting. _

Today is the day I have to go back. They finally say _I'm ready to face the harsh world; a world without her._ I have to go back to people who need me. People that I chose to help, instead of my beloved. I promised her forever, but all demons lie.

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><p><em>This time I want it all<em>  
><em>This time I want it all<em>  
><em>Showing you all the cards<em>  
><em>giving you all my heart<em>  
><em>This time I'll take the chance<em>  
><em>This time I'll be your man<em>  
><em>I can be all you need<em>  
><em>This time it's all of me.<em>

Wesley, Fred and Cordiela came strolling into the lobby discussing the latest demon they attacked and what it was doing to their social lives. Wesley and guy were talking about how sad their lives have become.

"I'm not sad", Cordy whines as she lies down on the couch.

They looked at her and decided to change the subject.

"How needs a social life when we're doing demons…didn't that come out sad and wrong. I need to get out more speaking of has anyone talked to Fred lately, has anyone seen her", asks Gunn

"Not seen, glimpses she pops her head out of her room and runs right back in. She's been doing that for three months ever since Angel left" explains Cordiela.

"She's become quite attached to him", Wesley says cleaning his weapon off.

"Ah yes Angel groupie, it's understandable that she gotten attached to her. He saved her", guns shrugs. "But speaking of him, when is he coming back".

Cordiela signs and get up towards the office. "He'll be back as soon as he let out a little grieved".

"A little Bu", gun starts to argue and was immediately interrupted by Cordy.

"Don't say the b word", she yells.

Gunn wonders how dumb Cordy actually is. "The b word was the love of his live and he's what 250 years, that aint no short live, this grieve work going to take more than a vacation to Treblinka to get over".

"It isn't a vacation it's a spiritual retreat at a monastery" Wesley countered.

"Hum Angel and a bunch of monks in the middle of nowhere", Gunn exclaim. "There's a party. He should have went to Vegas and got hammered like I told him"

The next day the trio was arguing about mouse traps. Wes and Gunn both wanted nothing to do with it. So Cordy went into the door with the sewers access and screamed.

There before her was Angel.

"You guy's he's back, he's back", and she hugged him.

Everyone rushed over and hugged him happy that he was back.

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><p><strong>Pennies for ya thoughts...next chapter is the scoobies turn!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry it took so long but i decided to work on a different story every week...helps witth writters block and all that... thanks for reviews...**

**Disclamiers...i don't own buffy and the song is by john legend**

**But i hope you enjoy**

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><p><em>I hit the bar every night<em>  
><em>Looking to score a good time<em>  
><em>It's not like I planned it<em>  
><em>I'm left empty handed<em>  
><em>'Cause im still alone in my mind<em>  
><em>Now what will it take to feel right<em>  
><em>Can I come see you tonight?<em>  
><em>Is there someone new now?<em>  
><em>What can I do now?<em>  
><em>'Cause I need you back by my side.<em>

"It's not fair, why did she have to die", Willow cried clinging to Xander as a life line. It wasn't fair. The world keeps spinning while her best friend died saving the world and no one even batted an eye. The days were longer and laughter was only a distant memory. If Buffy was in this situation she would have been strong but that was not the case. It has been nearly four months from the day and everyone still acted as if it was only yesterday. They went patrolling every night with the Buffy-Bot and Soike. Sometimes it seems like she was their small witty friend and like nothing changed but it was a lie. But they had to keep up appearances for the underworld because a slayer not guarding the hell mouth was just asking for trouble.

Lately Willow couldn't stop thinking about her best friend. She wondered if Buffy was suffering somewhere like angel had a long time ago. Sure they buried her, but what if her soul was trapped in some alternative hell dimension. She had to help her, if it was her Buffy would have done nothing less. She made a vow that she was going to bring her friend back. After all, nothing was written in stone.

_I'll save you Buffy I promise,_ she thought.

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><p>Willow wasn't the only one that was taking Buffy death hard. Dawn wouldn't talk to anyone but Soike. When forced to talk the girl would throw constant fits of rage. She didn't want to be here, either. Everything was a constant reminder of her strong brave older sister who sacrificed her life for something that wasn't even real. Sure she was a walking breathing fourteen year old girl but thirteen years had been made up. She was a ball of energy that should have died instead. Dawn went to the kitchen to get away from everyone sorrows. She didn't need theirs; she had enough of her own. Turning into the kitchen she was hit by a memory of Buffy. It was no secret they didn't get along; too much alike and know she knew why. She wrapped her arms around her as it replayed in her head.<p>

_Buffy found her trying to cut herself after finding out the truth. It seems like only yesterday when Buffy grabbed the knife and cut herself to prove her point. "It's Summer's blood, you are my sister, you see this it's Summers blood", Buffy cried as she looked pleading into Dawns eyes for her to understand._

Dawn gave a bittersweet smile as she thought back to the first time she actually felt like she belonged_._

'_The monks made her out of me'_, she remembered her sister saying.

"_Be strong. Be brave, life for me_", was the last thing her sister said to her before taking the jump.

She wished she could just say 'I love you', one more time, or if she wouldn't have been a self righteous ass during those last few months. She was just so full of regrets, so full of self hatred but she knew in time she had to be strong because that was what her big sis would have wanted. With that thought she poured her a glass of orange juice, walked past the Scoobies and headed up stairs.

"Dawnie, do you need anything", Willow asked getting up to move towards Dawn desperately.

Dawn closed her eyes in frustration. She was so tired of being treated like a china doll. _'lil old Dawn' this or 'poor Dawn that'_. She opened her eyes to see that Willow was closer to her reaching out her hands. Dawn jerked back. "I'm fine', she huffed. "Leave me alone", she screamed stomping her way to her bedroom and slamming the door. She couldn't deal with this anymore those people was delusional. Between that Buffy-Bot and the Scoobies she didn't know how much more she could take. She liked living here but she couldn't anymore. She picked up the phone and paced the room as she waited anxiously for the person to answer.

"Hey", she said in a week voice.

"Dawn. How are you, are you okay do you need anything", asked the person on the other side of the phone.

"yea actually, I need a place to stay, I can't live like this; their insane", she cried softly into the receiver.

"I'll come get you; stay put kiddo", came the reply.

"No", Dawn screamed franticly, "I'll come to you. If they found out", she trailed off.

"I don't like this but I guess I'll see you when you get here".

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><p>The next morning was a bright beautiful day for Sunnydale, California. It was a great day to be in California. The birds were chirping and it was a marvelous day for a picnic except for the fact that it was a school day. The Buffy-Bot was down stairs making sandwiches while the Scoobies were having an impute Scooby meeting.<p>

"You guys this isn't working, we can pretend all you want but we **need **Buffy back", Willow said simply and after a moment of silence she add, "The real one. I say we bring her back".

"Whoa Will I love Buff as much as you do but this –this is wrong we can't do this", he jumped up pleading that she would change her mind because if she didn't then he knew that he would follow Will into anything because that was his best friend.

"Yes. We can, I'm strong enough to bring her back, but I need your help. We could take a vote but the longer we take the longer Buffy suffers in hell", she agured.

"How do you know she's in hell", asked Anya.

Willow exploded, "you saw that portal she went through, and sure we buried her body but what about her soul", she stressed. "If it was us Buffy would do the same thing", she reasoned.

"Well", Anya started pondering the information before adding, "yea your right that girl sure was crazy….that's why you guys were friends, I wouldn't risk my live for anyone but maybe Xander so we can have thank you sex".

"Ah…thanks An I think that was the sweetest thing you have every said", Xander stated smiling down at his girlfriend which caused Willow to frown because he was missing the big picture.

"I think Willow should be president but I still think it's too dangerous", Tara said as she looked at her girlfriend. She wanted Willow to know she supported her no matter what but she held a hint of worry in her gaze. Willow just smiled back and leaned down to kiss her.

"well I'm game", Xander announced 100 percent backing Willow.

"I have all the stuff, all I need is the urn and we are good to go. Anya can you get it since you do inventory at the shop", asked Willow.

Just when Anya nodded there was a loud ear wrenching scream pieced threw the walls and all the Scoobies ran upstairs to find the source. They found the Buffy-Bot in Dawn's bed room but no Dawn.

"Ah Buffy Where's Dawnie", asked Willow looking around seeing half of her closet clean and an unmade bed.

"I don't know I looked everywhere, I found a note she ran away and I thought the appropriate thing to do is to scream. Why don't she like me, I'm an awesome sister", explained the roBot.

Everybody just tuned her out still trying to grasp the concept of Dawn running away.

"So not the time", whispered Willow rolling her eyes at dawn dramatics.

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><p><strong>Sorry it's sooooooooooooo short...i just wanted to post something but i promised they get longer! Reviews are welcomed...Always!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

Disclamiers all day!

Thanks for the love and enjoy!

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><p>The ride out of town was certainly not what one would call pleasant. What should have been a quick and easy two hour ride turned into six due to poor weather conditions and a case of flat tires. The sun was just starting to rise which meant she had effectively missed her ride. The only good thing about this godforsaken trip was that she made it to Los Angeles with all her limbs intact. She was thankful the vampires didn't want a late night snack before calling it a night. Even though Dawn was prepared since she carried an 8 oz bottle of holy water, some crosses and stakes in her purse. She did not want to press her luck seeing if she could take them out. Dawn sighed dejectedly as she got off the bus. All she had was one suitcase, so it wasn't that much to lug around as she searched for a pay phone. She had no choice but to call her dad, seeing how she had no clue where Angel actually lived and her dad moved from their old house. She finally found a pay phone when someone called out to her.<p>

"You know even travel clothes can be stylish, come on kiddo I have lots to teach you", called a brunette women cockily standing next to a really tall black dude. The lady was about her height and was wearing a really big smile that seemed too tight to be real. Something about her seemed familiar but dawn was too tired to remember where she had seen the woman before. The guy seemed to be mixture between anxious and intimidating all in one. He was about 6'3, real muscular and bald.

Dawn raised an eyebrow stepping back from the duo. She was too sleepily to deal with this and nothing good ever came with strangers. "Ah not interested", she says as she walks away only to be stopped by the man's voice.

"You're Angel's girl right", asked Gun as he called out towards her retreating from. "We were told to pick you up. I'm Gunn and this is Cordy".

A look of recognition appears on Dawn face as she turns around and breathes a wave of relief. "Close", she answers as she smiles a bittersweet smile. Knowing that Angel's girl was actually an angel now and she was the closest thing on earth. "I'm Dawn".

* * *

><p>Angel paced up and down the lobby in full brood mode. His mind was full of what if's and should have could have would of's. It was no secret that he was worried about Buffy's little sister. That was obvious on how every ten minutes he would turn to the door. She was probably in trouble and he couldn't save her. She called at around ten last night and now it was 7:30 in the morning. She should have been at the hotel hours ago. If it wasn't sunrise he would have tracked her down. Something was differently wrong. He sent Cordiela and Gunn to wait for her as he retreated into the sewers when dawn approached but still it wasn't the same.<p>

"You know maybe you should sit down, drink something perhaps…maybe tea", the slinky British man advised.

"I don't need tea, what I need is Dawn walking through that door….preferable breathing ", he growled ready to take Wesley out. At that moment said brunette walked through the front doors.

"Angel, check me out I'm breathing and walking big guy", joked Dawn as she ran into his arms.

"Next time where going to do things my way. I'm too old for this, I was worried sick", Angel whispered just low enough for her to hear it while he embraced her. She smelt like Buffy and that only made him want to hold on to her longer but eventually he had to let her go.

Dawn laughed as she moved out of his embrace. He was like the big brother she never had. Unlike all the other boyfriends' Angel made her feel included, much too Buffy's dismay they formed a sibling type bond. The two was as thick as thieves always getting into some type of trouble. It was Angel's fault Dawn knew how to snoop like a pro and was extra sneaky. When Angel left Sunnydale Dawn was broken and essentially blamed her for taking her brother away. Dawn stepped closer to Angel and looked closely at him squinting her eyes at him circling him like a hawk with mock serious expression.

"You know", she drawled finally stopping in front of him again."I think I see some gray hair", she joked.

She reached and pulled a piece of hair from his head.

"Ow", yelled Angel. "What the hell was that for? I don't get gray hair", he shouted trying to sound mad but he really couldn't. Dawn reminded him a lot of his sister. He couldn't save Kathy but he was going to make damn sure that Dawn didn't suffer the same fate….an early death.

She brushed her hands together making it a dramatic scene to drop the piece of hair to the floor. "Opps my bad. It must have been a trick of the light or something", she said fringing innocence.

For the first time since Buffy's death Angel laughed. It was real and genuine stopping the AI team in its tracks.

"What", Angel asked as he notice his employees looking at him strangely.

All except for Cordiela have never seen Angel genuinely happy. Sure he laughed and joked around but it was always guarded or calculated. Then with the whole 'love of my life' being dead didn't exactly make him a happy camper. So when the AI team saw their boss acting like a carefree teenage playing around with a girl no less they couldn't help but stare.

"It's just that your um-dude", Gunn says speechless.

"Yes, Dawn it's great that your staying here. I feel it would give Angel closure after Buffy's departure", Wesley says and instantly the atmosphere changes. The smile that was once on Angel's and Dawn's faces was replaced by stoic masks. Only that Dawn haven't mastered that art yet, so she looked highly pissed off.

"Don't say the B-word", scolded Cordy as she was preparing to endure another brooding session with the big man.

Dawn snapped. "How dare you", she whispered fiercely before repeating it louder. "First Wes you make it sound like it's just another day at the airport. Newsflash you're not a watcher anymore grow some damn feelings and Cordy the B-word really? You make her sound like she's the plaque or even worse a bitch and last time I check you had that title down pack", Dawn spat clenching her fist.

"You-you are so lucky I'm not trying to get fired. Neither you nor your sister was here to pick up the pieces every time shit didn't pan out. I'm sorry Hur-um Buffy died but she done caused more pain than anything else", Cordiela spoke evenly.

Angel was losing control quickly. Angelus was reeling at ways for avenging Buffy's death and taunting him because it took her not really little sister who didn't even exist until last year to call his team out on their scandals ways first. The gang had been walking on egg shells around him. Showing all types of pity and he just wanted it to end. Looking at dawn he couldn't help but see the parts of Buffy that he loved so much as she fired a new one to Cordy. There was something about Summers' girls and short tempers that were extremely amusing. At least Dawn was tall enough to actually look intimating instead of having the surprise factor when you see yourself getting beat by someone that's barley 5'2. "Dawnie let me show you to your room", he said softly before turning on Cordiela. "You must be tired and Cordy back off you have no idea what you're talking about", he growled.

"Oh so what-all the years of me having your back is down the drain because Buffy's little sister runs away and needs a place to stay. Something about Summers is all I'm going to say", she warned not afraid at all.

Angel sighed. It was unnecessary but he felt a little calmer after the action. "It's because of that your still standing" and he turned with dawn suitcase in hand and headed up the stairs.

"What the hell does that mean", she yelled after him causing him to stop.

"Take it how you want it, I don't make ideal treats", and with dawn in tow they headed up the stairs.

Once safely inside what was to be her new room Dawn turned to Angel and cried. She hasn't cried since the funeral and being so close to him was taking a tow on her emotion. Losing Buffy was like losing apart of herself and he was the only person that knew how she felt. She knew the man she was holding onto like a life line loved her sister and she grew comfort from that. Whipping her eyes she cried, "I didn't mean to cause trouble but I just couldn't let them down grade Buffy when she couldn't defend herself. God I miss her", she continued to cry.

"I know. I miss her too. I also know what it's like to lose a sister", he replied quietly trying to bring the weeping girl some comfort.

"Does it get any easier?"

"I could lie and tell you that it does, but the harsh reality is it doesn't; you just learn to live and pray you make it through the next day, because if you don't then their memories would be for not".

Dawn smiled and let go of Angel to sit on her bed starring intensely at him. "She was really lucky you know, having a big brother like you. Maybe she and Buffy are hitting it off exchanging all the really embarrassing stories about you up in heaven".

Angel gave her a small smile before looking upwards. "I hope so. That's something I would love to see", he replies distantly thinking about what if's and his distant past.

Dawn smirked. "No you wouldn't. I'm a little sister; where you listening to the stories I was telling you about her. They were horrid and extremely embarrassing, she still don't know that I told you half the things I did", she joked.

Angel chuckled. "Night dawn, you must be beat talk to you tomorrow".

"Bro, unlike you I should be eating breakfast and beginning to start my day. You're the old owl that needs to sleep", Dawn smirked suppressing a yawn.

Angel just shook his head and closed the door. It was great to have dawn here. He felt his phone ringing in his pocket. He still didn't understand the purpose of having a cell phone but maybe he should get one for dawn. "Angel".

"Please tell me she's with you and not her father", asked Willow over the phone. She sounded extremely calm for someone to have lost her dead best friend's sister. Something wasn't adding up.

"Yea, care to explain why she ran away Will".

"I don't know maybe it's finally getting up to her and she needed an outlet. Things has been so hard with adjusting and bills and pretending", she trailed off catching her slip up not wanting Angel to know about the robot, or the fact that Hank was still unaware of his daughter's death. Hell all of Sunnydale thought she was alive and kicking.

Angel brows fumed. "Willow pretending what", he asked extremely curious and made a mental note to get the 411 as young people called it from Dawn.

Willow laughed a nervous tone coming into her voice. "You know with the acting like I know what I'm doing as a guardian and Buffy's funeral bills along with Joyce's", she trailed off. "Life has been extremely unfulfilling.

"Willow, tell them to call me so I can take care of it. Better yet send me all the stuff, I wanna help"

"No Angel, we cannot ask that from you especially after all we did and treated you over the years", she argued.

"Yea but this isn't about you guys. It's about Buffy and Dawn. I have more than enough money. Dawn don't need to worry about it, so end of discussion", he said leaving no room for arguments.

Willow signed. "okay Angel just one more thing".

"first you didn't want me to do anything now I get a whole list", he joked lamely still not believing that Buffy was gone and her sister was grieving in the room down the hall.

"take care of dawn. We're not going to force her to come home but let her know we miss her. We all think that maybe now she can come to terms with – with you know", willow cried finally showing some emotions as she broke down on the other end of the receiver.

"I will willow. I couldn't protect Buffy but I will protect her sister. Take care and send me the bills", with that he hung up and decided to try and get some sleep.

As he opened the door. He was assaulted by her scent. He was still haunted of the night together that really made no sense but it seemed so real. He remembered every touch, every word, every ounce of passion shared with his true love and only love. Laying down he closed his eyes and he swore he could feel her soft hand caressing his face. Her sweet lips putting kisses down his jaw line. All her touches felt so real, like she was really right here with him. As he drifted off to sleep he remembered the reason he was still fighting to see another night.

"_Promise me something", she asked quietly her voice was like sweet rich honey. She was lying in his embrace after hours of passion between the two. _

"_Anything" he says whispered captivated shifting them so he could look into her eyes._

"_Promise that no matter what happens to me you keep on living… fighting the good fight", she asked._

_He looked pained. They never really had the chance for a pillow talk post sex but he was pretty sure that her saying things like that were way down on the list. "I can't promise you something I don't intend to keep. The day you stop living is the day I meet the sun". he looked into her eyes and he knew that she knew that he meant every word._

"_No, please if you love me and want me to be happy…. promise me", she begged which was something she never did. _

"_I can't say it'll be easy, but for you I'll do anything. I promise, even though that is a fate worse than hell", he states memorizing her every curve as his hands started to roam again._

"'_My love Willow is here", she says quietly. _

_He looks puzzled and wonders out of all the things she could say he wasn't expecting that. "She can start the spell without us"', he says. As soon as he says it he feels a sharp pain in his chest. "Buffy you got to get away from me now", he growls but she remains calm and completely still as tears run down her face. He jumps out of bed only to collapse in agony onto his knees. He knew that Angelus was only minutes away._

"_Angel it's not your soul that you're losing", she whispers brokenly, "know that no matter what… I love you". _

"_I love you", _was the words that kept repeating in his head as he came too when he heard voices screaming driving him away from his lovers embrace. He never let the dream last longer than that part because of the horrible nightmare that was to come. The thing about nightmares was that they went away after a person awoke but he was living one._ A life without her was his fate, but a world without her was hell on Earth._

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><p>A few hours away a wicked red head with a plan was smirking at how everything was coming together. Turning to the group she announced, "We don't need to worry about Dawn finding out anything…she's with Angel and is staying awhile".<p>

Xander scoffed. "What is with Deadboy and Summers' girls? It's like a moth to flames….bad idea".

Willow rolled her eyes. "Well you should lighten up he offered to pay Buffy's debt off".

"Yea with blood money that's probably soaking in his bathtub but I guess if I lived for centuries I'll be rich too", Xander countered through secretly he was relieved.

Anya was uncomfortable so she thought of something that would a please the witch. "Well, I found the urn on eBay it should be coming in two weeks", she says excitedly.

"Good, let's give Dawn a surprise when she comes home", Willow said dead serious no pun intended.

_Buffy's coming back in two weeks, two more weeks and we'll save you_, she thought.

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><p>Penny for your thoughts...please review!<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for all the reviews and support.**

**Disclaimers as always…..now on with the chapter…..don't hate me (one hell of a cliff hanger warning)!**

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><p>"Angel, why am I up at this god forsaken hour", Dawn cried as she was literally dragged out of bed and being pulled to the kitchen. Angel just smirked causing Dawn to rephrase her question. "No, second thought why are you up? It's seven in the morning; I wanna be in bed…<em><strong>you should be in bed<strong>_. I worry about you sometimes. All standard issued Vampires with souls should be sleeping", she told him innocently showing mock concern.

"Nice try but today is Monday", Angel replied as if that was the answer to everything wrong in the world. Dawn just stared blankly with a look saying '_and I care because'_. Needlessly to say he continued. "YOU Breacadh (Dawn), needs an education, all fine independent women needs one. I'm not going to make you go to school but I will make sure your learning", he stated firmly.

"That's not fair", she grumbled. ''I forgot how you're like a walking history book" she whined as she fixed her a bowl of cereal. "what some", she asked trying to change the subject.

Angel ignored her and continued his learning is fundamental speech. "Well as long as you're here, you're going to be studying and I can see if Fred will teach you some math and science", he said hopefully.

Fred has been doing a lot better. She was still shy and mostly kept to herself but she did come out of her room now at least. Angel was thinking that she and Dawn could help each other out. Dawn would gain some formulas and Fred could gain a friend. It was a win -win for everyone. For the past three days Dawn relatively stayed to herself only talking to Angel. Whenever she was outside her room he had to keep Cordy and her separated in hopes to avoid a cat fight. Sometimes they would just sit and glare at each other, be he knew what they really wanted to do. So it was decided to forgo all plans of trying to get those too to become bff's. Though civil, she merely avoided Wesley on her own. Still mad at what happened when he was last in Sunnydale taking Giles job and all.. He tired to remind everyone that she was grieving and be easy on her saying she would come around and was just a kid.

"Can we learn Gaelic Ang", asked Dawn eager to learn Angel's native language.

"How did I know you were going to ask that", Angel smirked but he agreed at least she was learning something.

All morning Angel was teaching her Gaelic. They started off with little things around the room and Angel giving her the name for them in Gaelic. The two were laughing and joking so much in between that they barely noticed it was roughly lunch time. Well that was until Angel heard her stomach growl with a vengeance. He went into the kitchen to fix something to eat for her when there was a scream. He knew that scream from anywhere. He stopped and ran to the lobby to find Dawn looking terrified as she watched Cordiela scream in agony.

Dawn looked up and watched how Angel swooshed in and tried to calm Cordiela. The distraught teenager quickly raised both hands in mock surrender saying she didn't do anything. Absentminded Angel told her it was a vision while he was trying to get the information he needed from it. Once he was sure he had everything he needed and that Cordiela was okay he left to go find Gunn and Wes so they could investigate. He told Dawn to keep an eye out for Cordelia.

With Angel being gone, Dawn ventured to the kitchen to make her something to eat. There was no way she was going to babysit Queen C. Coming into the kitchen she saw opened containers that looked like it was tossed over in a hurry. Ketchup spilled all over the knife and she remembered when a different red substance was all over a knife in a different kitchen. Dawn froze and backed up to a corner and slid down crying silently. She was a fool to think that running away would make her forget. She doesn't know how long she was there but suddenly there was a large hand on her shoulder causing her to jump.

"Whoa kid, take it easy. I just wanted to know if you're all right", Gunn said concerned etched in his voice.

"I'm not a kid technically I'm older than Angel, and what's it too you", she said bitterly coming out way harsher than she planned.

Gunn eyebrows went skyward when she said she was older than the big man. She looked 15 but he knew looks could be deceiving but she wasn't a vamp because he saw her in the light of day. He wondered what was she briefly before deciding that it didn't matter and he wanted to take her pain away. "I'm sorry about your sister", he spoke softly scared he might have over stepped his boundaries as he sat down beside her.

"You don't know my sister", she lashed out. Then she spoke quietly trying to change the subject. "Angel's looking for you".

Gunn chuckled. "I know, we talked hours ago little bit'', he said just as quietly.

She gave small smile thinking about all the times Spike called her that. She missed the white haired vamp.

"You know I lost my sister almost a year ago", he continued softly.

Dawn gasped as she finally looked over at the man talking to her. She was about to open her mouth and talk but he raised a hand and continued.

"She was my baby sis and I couldn't save her from these vamps and I had to dust her. I was supposed to protect her and I failed. I was angry at the world for a very long time. Hell I was already mad as hell but now I just had a newer reason. She didn't deserve to die she was the sweetest person I knew. I wanted to take her place but I couldn't. There's not a day that I don't miss her, but I know that she loved me and didn't want to see me beat myself up. So every day I try to beat me up less and less and understand that things happen for a reason. I haven't quite figured out what that reason is yet but now she's in a better place and I'm doing so much good. Yo, I like to think that she's looking after me and that she's so proud of me and that's what makes living worth it. Yo know". He nudged Dawn a little and she bumped him back playfully.

Dawn just stared at the man. She gave him another half smile because she couldn't form the words. She would have never guessed and she felt bad for treating him so poorly this weekend. Some how she felt as if she could tell him about Buffy because he told her about his sister and knew he wouldn't pity her. "My big sis, she always said that she wanted to go out in a bang. Slayers they have short lives but she was the longest and strongest to ever live. She didn't do anything by the book in fact she hated books. After all the things she saw, kept from me, it didn't make her hard. She had such a big heart and yet we fought like cats and dogs." Dawn voiced cracked.

"That's what siblings do", offered Gunn trying to comfort her in some way.

"But we aren't sisters. Not really" she admitted quietly.

Once again Gunn was confused but he stayed quite.

"The monks made me out of her. I'm really some 600 year old key thingy but I don't remember any of that. According to Buffy she said that I was really around for 6 months…a whole year now", she sniffed. "But I have memories of the past 15 years of everything. This is my first time really meeting Angel, but it's so weird because I remember him giving me piggy back rides. I remember feeling safe with him and him protecting me from a group of vamps. I remember crashing their dates and Angel making me pancakes for my birthday. Buffy said it didn't matter. How much time I was here really didn't matter because she was my sister. They needed my blood to open this portal…I'm key girl and they didn't get me in time. The only way to close it was to stop the blood flow from the conductor. "She choked not having the strength to finish.

"She gave up her life, to save you. Dawn she wanted you to live", he said understanding.

"I miss her so much. She died to save me to save the world and the world will never know".

"Yea, but t you do and we all know it and as long as we don't forget them their not really gone. They are in everything we do. You have to stop being so hard on yourself. You're wanted, and you're loved. I wish I could have met her, but just with you being here you're helping Angel. I never saw him look so lost, so broken. But with you here he's a whole new person. It's like you renewed his mission and reminded him that he still have people to fight for".

"I did all that", she asked unsure.

"Yup, and you're going to continue to do much more", he said getting up and reaching towards her.

Dawn wiped the last of her tears and took his hand to help her up. "Thanks, I feel kinda better, definitely less numb now".

"Anytime", he said as she retreats from the kitchen.

"No really Gunn thanks for talking to her. I heard what you said and well, thanks" Angel replied popping out of nowhere looking at Gunn with a sober expression.

"Man, it's no problem. It's the same you did for me. I feel bad for the girl….she's so young… I like her"

Angel smirked. "She's like a sister to me and it'll do you well to remember that." he warned.

Gunn laughed off his nervousness. "Whoa calm down my man not like that".

"Good", Angel growled with a sickening smile on his face. He turned to leave whistling an old Irish tune leaving a scared Gunn in his wake.

Angel went to go find Wesley and see if he came up with anything from Cordiela vision when he was faced with Cordy herself.

"Angel, we needs to talk", she stated. It was Angel turn to look confused.

"We are talking Cordy, what's up", he asked having eerie feeling on where this was going.

"What are we going to do with Dawn, she can't live here forever BJ is getting on my nerves", she whispered. She has been calling Dawn BJ all weekend; Buffy Junior. The first time Angel snapped but now he learned to ignore it.

"And why not Cordy, she came for my help and I'm not going to turn my back on her. She's family and she can stay as long as she likes", he stated firmly.

"No Angel, were your family and I don't like the fact that there using you. They have you paying all Buffy funeral bills and Joyce's. Then BJ just magically expects you to take care of her when you're barely holding on yourself. Next they'll be asking for a spare kidney and you're going to find some way in hell to give them one", she spat.

"I'm not doing anything that I don't want to do", he said calmly though his eyes told a different story.

"Bull shit you are blinded by your pain", she stammers poking him in the chest.

"And your blinded by your jealously, I'm making sure that the woman I love last living family member is safe and secure. Cordy grow up, I'm a big boy I can take care of myself got my own fangs and everything".

"Obviously", she scoffs. "I'm leaving, I'm not about to watch you go down yet another path of self destruction". She placed a tender touch to his check and left the office.

Angel stood really befuddled and just stared at the door wondering _what the hell just happened_ until a very loud voice broke him out of his ravine. He still never understood why they yelled for his attention when he could have heard them if they spoke regularly especially if they were on the second floor right above the lobby.

"Hey Angel wanna play some video games. The ones Gunn has are pretty awesome", yelled Dawn from the stairs.

Angel shrugged. _Why the hell not; weirder things has happened_. Everything just seemed too surreal and he was waiting for the damn to drop. It always does sooner or later and he had this sickening feeling like it was going to be soon. He just hoped they were ready.

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><p>Over the course of two weeks he watched as Dawn wove herself more into his crew. He felt akin to a proud father, watching their kid play with their new friends. She made quick friends with Fred and had went on many shopping trips buying them both a new wardrobe. She managed to do what they had wanted to accomplish months ago by getting the timid Fred out of her shell. Dawn laughed more and her smile was less forced. She played video games with Gunn if the boys didn't have a case and she was having fun joking around doing what annoying siblings do to both guys. He found himself on the receiving end to a lot of practical jokes but it was okay because the 251 year old vampire gave as good as he got. Angel himself was more extrovert and light hearted with his crew. The entire crew knew it had to do with dawn. They had almost lost Gunn. His old team came back and Angel didn't know where his loyalty laid and he was not about to take any chances especially with dawn around. The major breaking point was when Cordiela vision's were causing her physical pain and leaving bruises everywhere.<p>

It was right after a vision and her entire body was burned. Angel couldn't handle yet another close friend losing their lives to this endless war of good vs evil. He came to care for the seer who had grown remarkable since her cheerleader days at Sunnydale High being the bang of existence to his love's life. If someone would have told him then that one of his closest friends would be her he would have laughed in their face. But there it stood on that fateful day Angel was force to render upon what the seer meant to him. Before Dawn shown up she was his anchor to help him overcome his never ending grief. That day when Cordy was being burned alive by her visions he remember that day dawn was calculating and summing him up as the dam broke and he could no longer hold his emotions.

"I wanna be alone", he said quietly into the room. Although he couldn't see her, he could smell and her. He could hear her steady heart beat. He was in his room in the basement. The lights were off but he could still see perfectly with his predator eyes. He had a big bottle of Irish Scotch in his hand. The glass long forgotten in a pile of shatter glass at his feet.

"I'm not even here", she whispered calmly though her heart beat was a dead giveaway that she was scared and he didn't blame her. It's been a rough week. Know Fred parents were talking about taking her back to freaking Texas. Angel needed him time; time to mourn and pond of Buffy and the rest of his messed up undead life.

"What do you want from me Dawn" he asked more harshly then he intended.

"How could you love her", she whispered almost defeated.

"How could I not", he whispered back. "She made me the person I am today. "

"And my sister meant nothing to you", she spat. Flinching at the sound of the bottle crashing to the ground Dawn found herself retreated further to the wall behind her. Followed by the chair and two yellow eyes hovering over her, she tried to calm down saying that this was Angel not some random vampire, he would never hurt. That fact did nothing to calm her frantic heart beat, or wincing away from his threatening position trying to move. Only to find out that she was trapped between his arms. She knew that Angel was as deadly as they came and she knew that now ensouled did not mean by any means that he was a soft teddy bear. All these facts was doing nothing from keeping her from having a panic attack. Was this how his sister felt, knowing that the man you grew up with; loving and trusting man suddenly betrays that trust and kills you. Was this how her sister felt when Angelus was mocking everything Buffy and Angel had. She knew Angel was sawing words but they weren't registering as she shut her eyes from the man she thought of as family.

**_"Look at me_**", he growled low and menacing right in her ear. He was losing patience. How dare she make assumptions like that and not expect him to retaliate. He winced inwardly as he smelt her fear in tidal waves, but he was too far gone in his guilt; in his grief to register it. He was hanging on by a thread and his demonic half was relishing it.

**_"Don't ever say that, Buffy was everything to me. She will always be everything to me. The pain will lessen for everyone else as you guys move on with your lives but she was my life and now walking this earth now feels worse than hell but you know what I take it. It's the hand I've been dealt. No one will ever come close to being what she is…was to me; my best friend, my first love, my mate, my wife. You have no idea how it's like to lose your reason for existing; losing your other half. No don't act scared now Dawn you wanted to rattle the cage now I'm out the bag. What didn't think your precious Angel would ever hurt you, you think your precious Angel will make it all better. Newsflash Dawnie your sister, my mate is dead nothing I say will ever make it better. You just come prancing around with your buffy like eyes and buffy like demeanor wanting me to fix shit that can't be fixed._** "He finally moved from in front of her not being able to look at her. During his little tantrum, rant, whatever he felt remarkably better. The constant hole was still there but he was no longer anticipating going on a killing spree to make up for lost time.

Dawn was still in shock. She didn't know what to say, so she said the first thing that popped in her head. "You're not going to eat me are you, because I'm really sorry", she begged. This time she saw him wince and chastised herself for saying something stupid.

"No Dawn I'm not going to eat you", he said irately. "I'm sorry I scared you, I'm sorry I lost control that quickly", he stated feeling guiltier by the minute. Her fear was still dominate in the room. He sighed. "Dawn who were you talking about when you first came down here. At first I thought you was talking about your sister but now", he trailed off.

Dawn was getting better at getting over the panic factor and answer, "Cordiela"

Angel almost chocked on his own saliva not an easy task for a vampire. He was trying to wrap his head around that idea, before chuckling.

"it's not farfetched, I remember her having a crush on you when I was younger, now with um you know, and after all these years I think she's in love with you and I was scared that you might love her back and you where forgetting all about Buffy", she admitted quietly.

Angel mentally kicked his own ass and turned to embrace her again. Initially she tensed up but then she relaxed; he was family after all. This time when he spoke his words were more soothing. "Not happening kiddo that type of love can never be forgotten, or replaced. I'm sorry for scaring you, now why don't we go upstairs huh".

Dawn squeezed him back and nodded against his chest as she whipped her tears before letting go and heading towards the door. The pair preceded though the hall way in silence until the all too familiar scream shattered through the hotel. Dawn rushed up the stairs only to pause as she heard a loud thumb behind her. She immediately turned around and ran back to angel as he seemed to struggle for air. "Angel", dawn cried. "What's wrong", she asked coming next to him to help him up only to fall back down because he was literally dead weight and too heavy for her to support.

"Are you breathing", she asked puzzled. "Angel since when do you breathe?"

"Impossible", Angel gasped rather he hard dawn question or even knew she was beside him he gave no indication. All he knew was what he was feeling was impossible.

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><p>Tell me what you think!<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**I do not own Buffy/Angel...**

**Now on to the new chappie!**

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><p>It's right before midnight. Deep within the cemetery the Scoobies were gathered in a semi circle surrounding Buffy's grave with Willow directly in front of it. Willow was doing a run through making sure all the candles where lit but Anya's lighter wasn't working. This was no time to mess up. There was no room for mistakes. Finally a minute to everything comes together and the chanting begins. Willow marks her forehead and cheeks with blood. She then pour the contents of the urn onto the earth.<p>

"Before time, and after. Before knowing and nothing ", she chants when suddenly she is jerked backwards from an unknown source. Her breathing becomes labor and Xander out of concern tires to reach her so she can stop.

"No", Tara exclaims. "She t-she told me….she'd be tested. This is supposed to happen."

Here lies the warrior of our people. Let her cross over", Willow continued fighting back more pain.

Xander still looks doubtful but he watches on as Willow winces in pain with various magical cuts appear on her skin. He stands helpless as he watched his best friend skin starts to move like it has a life of its own. "She needs help", he yelled unable to watch his friend scream in agony.

Once again he is stopped by Tara and he is forced to watch on mercilessly until they hear a loud rumbling coming from a distance. The entire group is now extremely on edge and looks around nervously

"Let her crossover", she yells and immediately falls on all fours gagging. She coughs up a snake and the others watch with wide terrified eyes. Knowing the worse is far from over.

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><p>Dawn was heading up the stairs when she heard a thump. She immediately turned around and ran back towards Angel as he seemed to struggle for air.<p>

"Angel", Dawn cried. "What's wrong", she asked coming next to him to help him up only to fall back down because he was literally dead weight and too heavy for her to support.

"Are you breathing", she asked puzzled. "Angel since when do you breathe?" Dawn was starting to panic.

"Impossible", Angel gasped rather he hard Dawn question or even knew she was beside him he gave no indication. All he knew was what he was feeling was impossible. Something within him was stringing to life and he needed air but the air wasn't for him. Whatever was calling to him needed air…_Whoever _was calling out to him.

He closed his eyes and tired to wait out the pain. It felt like he was being sewn together from the inside out.

"_It's not your soul that you're losing_", her voice spoke softly in his ears.

That's when he realized what was happening. Somehow their connection was intact and she was suffocating. But dead people didn't need air so that must mean somehow, some way Buffy was alive. Whenever her emotions were too strong he could always feel them. Whenever she was in burly unbearable pain he struggled to resist the urge to run to her. But _this- whatever this was_…he couldn't ignore it. He dared to hope and feared it all the same but none of that mattered because Buffy needed him.

With a new fire burning Angel managed to get his bearings in order and fled up the stairs only to be caught by a small hand. He was a man on a mission and was pissed that he was being stopped. "What', he growled as his demon visage slipped once again.

Dawn jumped back but didn't loosen her hold. "Angel, are you okay you were _**choking**_ a minute ago".

Angel didn't have time for this and he had no idea how to form cohesive sentences. He could still feel Buffy's pain and her labored breaths. "Buffy- Buffy- needs me", he gasped out. Dawn was looking like he was crazy. "I don't have time for this".

"I'm coming too", she hollered right back.

His face softened a little while he cupped her face. "Buff needs me now; you're only going to slow me down. As soon as I know what the hell is going on I will call okay", he said gently.

Dawn didn't get a chance to answer because when she blinked he was gone. It was not far that he treated her like a little kid. He said it was something about her sister. She wanted TO KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING!

She remembered the scream from earlier and decided since she wasn't going to get anything just standing there she ran upstairs.

Wesley was holding onto Cordy as Gunn stood sharpening his axe. They all stopped mid conversation when they saw her.

"No need to stop on my account", she joked. Abet lamely because she was still shaken up from her discussion from earlier.

Cordy like usual ignored her. "Have you seen Angel", she asked. Anyone could tell that she haunted. "It's important; he needs to be here so I can tell him".

"Is this about my sister", Dawn asks trembling. Gun dropped his axe and embraced her. "Angel said some stuff about her needing his help; I don't know what's going on. I'm so scared", Dawn admitted as she cried openly amongst his chest.

"Then it has begun", Wesley said remotely fearing the consequences of Cody's vision because they were never wrong. Life as they knew it was about to change.

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><p>It's dark and compact. <em>Where am I<em>, she thinks as she feels around to see how much room she has. It isn't much and that caused Buffy to panic.

Buffy pounds frantically on the sides, tries to scream but no sound comes out. She terrified and her breathes are labored. She wants to escape so badly. She continues pounding, banging on the inner lid just inches from her face. She begins to rip away the cloth that covers the inside of the lid. She grunts with exertion as the cloth rips.

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><p>Angel flew out of Los Angelos like a bat out of Hell. He was doing at least 50 over the speed limit but he didn't care. Nothing mattered more than getting to Buffy. He still wasn't sure what happened, but he didn't care. He felt their connection stir but that was impossible. He didn't want to hope and be disappointed. He dreamed everyday that maybe it was all a nightmare and he'll wake up and she would be alive. <em>So why <em>_did this feel so wrong. _

A two hour trip took 40 minutes but to Angel it felt like that still wasn't fast enough. It seems like there was no one going towards the direction of Sunnydale and for that he was grateful. As he passes the Welcome to Sunnydale sign the sight before him is anything but welcoming.

It was literally hell on earth. There was no way he could drive through this. _Looks like word finally got out that he hell mouth was open for business_, he mused dryly_. _ People were screaming in fear. The smell of blood and fear made his lesser have want to dance for joy.

As he walked he heard the sounds of motorcycles rumbling around everywhere. He saw them causing chaos to the town .The demons drove over cars, threw curbside restaurant tables, between pedestrians. At least one demon grabs a woman and pulls her onto his bike. Some were throwing garbage cans through windows, hitting cars with baseball bats, and anything they could find really.

He wanted to help. But he was just one vamp in a sea of demons. He probably could take them, but right now he was focusing on sensing Buffy. He was following their link. She was his mission everything else was irrelevant.

The link was pulling him toward her gravesite but he heard a voice behind him that threw him for his money. It was her voice, but why was it behind him. He turned and saw her looking extremely helpless as a bunch of demons surrounded her. His undead heart broke.

As he stepped closer to try to get a closer look and a smell of his surroundings their link was getting fainter. Whoever this girl was she wasn't his Buffy. He saw blue sparks come from the girl-thing that wore his loves face and turned away running to Buffy grave as fast as his feet could carry him. Whatever that was it clearly wasn't human and it reeked of Spike. He decided to deal with that later. Why did his childe have a robot that looked exactly like his buffy, was not something he really cared to think about. It was disturbing and distracting and that was something that wouldn't do.

_Hold on, Buffy hold on_, he thought as he ran closer towards her.

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><p>The Scooby gang split up and decided to meet at the music box after Willow spell went to ashes when the demon crashed the party chasing after the robot Buffy. Currently Xander was carrying an unconscious Willow throughout the woods. He felt his best friend start to stir again his arms so he stopped and gently lowered her to the ground.<p>

As Willow comes to she is hysterical. Xander tires to calm her down, through his labored breaths but nothing works.

"Xander", she exclaims. "She-she's waiting! She's counting on us, on on me! I can't leave her there anymore, I won't. We have to finish", she cried.

Xander tries to comfort her but it's to no avail. He tries to explain what happened to the urn and why they were running as motorcycles sounded off in the distance. He tells her about the urn and her tears become anew.

"Okay, we'll fix this one. A little tape, a dap of crazy glue", he whispers drying her tears with his thumb trying to lighten the mood.

Willow shakes her head and cries into his shirt. "It's no use. The urn's defiled. It's gone. Nothing, it was all for nothing. Buffy's gone. She really gone", she cried.

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><p>Buffy was getting desperate and continued to rip at the cloth in her coffin. She bangs her hands against the top thankful for her super strength as her fist goes through the wood. Dirt begins to rain down on her as she pulls at the wood, widening the hole.<p>

Now, not only could she not breathe she was going to drown in dirt. Her survival instincts kicked in. She kept clawing her way though when she felt something warm embed her. It was comforting and she absorbed it greedily while she fought her way through the dirt.

After what seems like eternity she latches on to something. She couldn't tell what it was because it was so dark but it was rough yet familiar and it was pulling her up; digging her out. As she reaches closer and closer she could make out sounds. The words were fuzzy but the voice was soothing and familiar.

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><p>Angel reached her grave in no time. He looked around for her when his eyes traveled downwards. He smelt Willow and that boy and his anger intensified. He was willing to bet they had something to do with this. He wished he had a shovel, but there was no time. He could feel her just below. Faintly he also heard her heart beat.<p>

"Buffy honey I'm going to get you out of there", he chanted as he got down on his knees and swung his battle axe against the dirt using it as a makeshift shovel. He digs like his life was on the line and technically it kinda was. He could her heart beat better, whether It was because he was getting closer or if she was he didn't know. He didn't care. He threw his axe to the side and started to use his hands so he wouldn't cause any further harm to her. The last thing he needed was to dig and realize he cut a limb.

"Buffy, if you can hear me listen to my voice. Hold on to me voice lover", he screamed begging that she could hear him. His accent gave way to his fear as he shouts something intangible in Gaelic. He felt what seemed to be her hand and he grabbed it with both hands and gently pulled her up.

"Just hold on", he said. "I'm right here". Her hand was so warm. He rejoiced at the feel of her and then immediately felt guilty because this wasn't right. It should be, yet here he was. here she was; alive and breathing and scared as hell. He could dine for days on her fear alone. He knew that if he ever crossed Willow it would not be pretty.

"Keep your eyes close", he cooed trying to calm down his anger as he pulled her out. As soon as she was out she starts to gasp greedily for air as two hands pulled her into an embraced. She looks up fearfully, still panting wildly.

"God Buffy it's….", he trailed off because what just happened was **not okay**. He stares down at her and watches as her eyes looks up to him with no recognition. "Your safe love, I promise. I'm here now, you can trust me".

Buffy just stares blankly at the man in front of her. She squinted her eyes to see if her vision clears but it's no use. She lifts her hands to his face to try and get a clearer image by touch but she immedaly drops them when she sees how dirty they are.

"I-I don't mind...god i've missed you. If you need to use your hands to see and touch my face i don't mind Buffy", Angel said quietly.

"Bu-ffy", she repeats quietly testing the word out. She frowns and looks back up to the man that helped her. She felt safe, but confused and looks around coming face to face with her tombstone. Buffy frowns in confusion and she felt the arms tighten around her as her eyes widen in shock as she starts to understand what happened.

"I'm so sorry", he kept repeating.

"Your safe with me, I'm Angel", the man whispers into her hair as he held her.

She had nothing else but to rely on but instinct and she felt that this man was important to her once. She could trust him to look after her as she figured out how to get back.

"I know it's hard but you'll get through this", he whispered. "We'll get through this I got you. Let's go home".

Buffy was still muffled and confused by the man's words. She didn't know what was going on. In all honesty she wasn't that game to find out. All she knew was that this wasn't right and now she was empty. She just found out that she was dead. She wasn't brought back from CPR but by magic.

Again she didn't know what was going on, but as they walked down the road hand and hand with destruction and mayhem everywhere she was glad she wasn't alone in this big scary world she was forced to walk upon.

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><p><strong>So...i was thinking of Angel keeping her to himself for a little while while she rehabilitate into the land of the living kinda of like she did during season 3 but idk yet. i do know that it's about to be a whole lot of angst in the next few chapters!<strong>

**As always reviews are welcome...and just to make something really clear Angel is NOT human...sorry to disappoint but you never know i might just surprise you in the end!**


	6. Chapter 6

**thanks for the reviews...heres the long awaited update**

**Disclaimers on Buffy and Angel.**

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><p>On their way to the Crawford Mansion they were stopped by the leader of the demon pack. Angel immediately brought Buffy behind taking on a defensive stance.<p>

"Alive and kicking after all", the demon sneered causing Angel to growl. The demon caught his eye and almost took a step back in fear recognizing him. "Angelus", he asked timidly.

"The one and only", Angel said.

Buffy didn't understand. Everything was so muffled and loud. She wanted to cling to the back of her Angel's jacket but something inside her stopped her. Something inside her rebelled at the act of letting him hides her during a conformation. Buffy frowned as she continued to strain to hear the conversation.

"Not looking to good, though, is she", the demon asked deciding not to care about the master vamp reputation.

"Well I don't see you winning too many beauty contests", Angel sneered tightening his grip on his axe.

The demon noticed. "Big axe you got there", he pointed.

"Look I don't want any trouble. I just want to take my girl home", Angel states calmly.

"Well that's too bad; I want a piece of the slayer. I love ripping little girls apart. Trouble's my middle name", the demon said stepping closer to Angel preparing to attack.

Angel reacted quicker and side stepped him punching him in the face before grabbing him and snapping his neck. "Too bad for you trouble's my first".

Out of nowhere three demons attacked Angel leaving Buffy wide open.

She gasped in horror as her savior face changed into that of a monster. She wanted to run but as she saw him getting jump and the other beast gaining the upper hand her face hardened and she jumped into the fight going for the one pinning her Angel down. Suddenly it was like old times with Buffy and Angel dancing around each other taking out the enemy until it was just them standing back to back looking for more threats; more danger.

After a while Angel turned around and once again gave Buffy his full attention. His eyes scanned her looking for any injury on her persons unbeknownst to him Buffy did the same.

She scanned him looking for anything out of place until she settled on his face. She gulped stepping closer and running her fingers softly over the ridges in his face. Angel growled softly turning away from her trying to hide his face; the face of a monster. "Please", she said softly and Angel hesitantly faced her once more. She looked him in his amber golden eyes bringing her face up to come only a breath away from his lips. She gently caressed his face. "I barely noticed", she said getting lost in his eyes.

Angel froze wondering if she remembered the first time she kissed him in his true form. She ushered the exact same words. Those words to him were even better than 'I love you'. That kiss was like their first all over again. He wonders if history be repeating itself. He didn't think on it too long because a second later she kissed him. The kiss made Buffy feel again. It ignited a fire she forgot existed. It was soft and gentle at first being mindful of her lovers fangs until it registered she was actually kissing Angel. It felt too long since the last time and she kissed him harder wanting to feel every inch of him. It was Angel who broke the kiss first allowing her to breathe. Truth was Buffy didn't want to breathe she just wanted him. He made her feel warm and safe. She wanted to feel that again.

"Let's go home, and clean you up. You're bleeding", Angel said turning back to his human visage feeling incredibly calm. He wanted to get her to the mansion before her friends came snooping around ambushing her.

Buffy lifted her hands and tentatively felt where the blood was and brought her hand to eye level. Blood stained one of her fingers. Looked puzzled and brought her eyes to the sea of dead bodies before her. During the fight more demons came and it was a little war. Blood, death and war…it was too much. Too fast and seeing her own, blood just made it real. Buffy looked pained as she glanced back to look into brown chocolate eyes before she ran. She ran from it all, she wanted to go back.

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><p>Buffy stood at the edge of the platform looking down. This was where it all started. This was how she got there the first time. Logically if she jumped again she could go back. Buffy shut her eyes tightly praying that this idea of hers works.<p>

_"Buffy no",_ Dawn screamed in anguish probably thinking this was all her fault Buffy thought as she fought hard to remember that night.

"Buffy no", she heard the anguished voice again but this time it wasn't her sister's. It was deep and rich….it was _her Angel._

"Angel I have to", she said strongly. Just as strong as the last time. Her eyes were still closed and she was still facing the edge of the platform.

"Now Buffy. You don't. You have a choice, a second chance to live that most people don't. Please don't leave me", he said softly trying to calm them both down. He couldn't live if she died again. He wouldn't be able to handle seeing Buffy's lifeless body surrounded by blood.

Buffy turned and frown. "You left me first", she said quietly.

The truth in her words stung leaving Angel with the feeling of wanting to jump himself and just lay there to the sun comes out. "I did", he agreed taking a timid step forward.

"I want my life to be with you", she said quietly repeating what she told him the day he left. "And you left me to die. I was empty. I am empty", she sneered.

He deserved that; he really did. The entire tower shook and Buffy moved closer to the edge. Angel went historical. "No", he shrieked. Yes the master vampire actually possessed such a skill. "Don't", he pleaded unchecked tears running down his cheeks.

Buffy turned back questioning him with her eyes. She looked so lost, so small, so fragile. Three words he would never used to describe her.

"Don't jump, Buffy baby just walk to me. Please", he yelled he was losing his mind. He would not let this happen again. "Please", he asked defeated. He left her and he just expected her to not return the favor. What could he give her to make her stay. What she has always wanted, a small voice whispered in his head. "My biggest regret was not telling you that I love you every day. Call me crazy but someone really important told me _ '__No matter the fear or the temptation of the darkness surrounding us we don't submit and if we fail we try our damnest to overcome it and prevail'_. _I don't know how your back, but you are, just stay still", he cried. The tower moved again and Angel quickly changed his statement. "_Or move. But towards me, mo grà. Dawn told me that loony people built this tower we have to leave now".

Buffy didn't move. "Is this hell", she asked quietly and Angel wanted to find the nearest stake.

"No trust me. I've been there. You're here….with me", he said strongly. More strong than what he was feeling but he needed to take charge of this situation. "What ever happened to you, whatever you're going through. We will get through this together. Together we're strong".

Buffy looked down again. "It was so clear…on this spot. I remember how shiny and clear everything was", Buffy cried shaking her head. "But now…now", she starts only to trail off again.

Angel gulped. "Baby please listens to me", he cried as the tower shook again. Buffy might hate him, but he was getting her off this thing. He wasn't losing her again, not now not ever. He promised her always. He had yet to keep that promise of forever but he will. Rather she liked it or not. "You told me I had to be strong without you. I've tried but gaining my redemption means nothing without you. Stay with me….please. I need you to live. Live for", Angel was cut off as the tower starts shaking constantly. Pieces are falling everywhere. Angel said_ to hell with it_ and ran to grab her.

"Angel", she asked softly. Angel just nodded and pulled her up and into the body the tower. He sees a pulley and rope going through it. Angel scoped Buffy up and leaped off the tower grabbing the rope. The rope broke off half way down and they still had long way to go before hitting the ground. Angel positioned him to take the brunt of the fall landing on some cardboard. Angel was trying to get over what almost happened…what could have happened when out of the corner of his eye he saw the entire platform break off heading towards them. In lightening speed Angel picked Buffy up and made a run towards it. They watch the entire thing fall from afar. Buffy still firmly being carried in Angels arms.

He looked down to see too green hazel eyes looking back at him. Eyes he never thought he would see again. They weren't filled with love but he would settle for what he could get. Wordlessly he cared his precious bundle towards Crawford Street and into the old mansion that he used to reside at. The house was still his, kept under Buffy's name so vampires and unwanted pester demons couldn't camp out of it. He would have to call someone in the morning to bring food for the week since he didn't think Buffy was well enough to travel yet. He would worry about getting blood for him later, he thought as he cleaned her relieving the dirt and debris off her.

As he tucked her into bed, he mused how things between them now came full circle. He remembered coming back to hell and her nursing him back to health both physically and mentally. Protecting him from both the world and their circle of friends ready to ambush him and make him pay again for his crimes. Now four years later he was returning the favor for his fallen angel.

As he kissed her forehead he turned to walk away when a little voice broke him out of his ravine. "Stay", she asked quietly. Angel smiled and crawled into bed with his love wrapping his arms around her relishing in her warmth.

"Always", he whispered into her ear.

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><p><strong>it's not much but i updated sorry but i promise to do better!<strong>

** just keep motivating me by reading, enjoying and reviewing...FYI this story will be finished before unforgettable. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for the reviews sorry for the wait!**

**disclaimers!**

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><p>The three weeks that followed were quiet and rough on both Buffy and Angel. Buffy had not spoken since the night she was brought back and Angel was having a hard time getting her to at least do the necessities in life; such as to eat, sleep, and bathe. When she did take showers by herself she would sit in the shower for hours or sit in the tub hopping to drown. It was hard for Angel to admit that his love was suicidal. Luckily he reached her before CPR had to be administered because then he would be in deep trouble. Since that incident needless to say Buffy no longer went to the bathroom without him.<p>

On this particular day Buffy was sitting on the couch staring at the fire, while Angel was doing Tai Chi. He tried to make her eat earlier but she wasn't hungry.

"Buffy you need to eat to keep up your strength", he told her gently. Still Buffy stared. He wanted nothing more to read her mind but that was a task he could never accomplish.

"It will get better", he said stopping what he was doing and pulling her into a hug kissing her forehead. She stiffened at first but soon returned to staring at the fire. "It may not seem like it, but it will".

Ever since that day, Buffy started seeing little flashes and memories of both her life and the afterlife. When she was having a flashback of her life, it was as if someone was telling her life story to an outsider; she was an outsider to herself. At first it was bits and pieces, mostly surrounding Angel. But then the story line grew and more characters filled in the missing pieces. _Her friends_, she thought bitterly. Often she would dream that she was back in heaven. Those she hated the most, therefore she rarely sleep because she would wake up feeling empty; like today.

She remembered falling asleep in Angel arms and feeling safe and warm and as she drifted off to sleep. She realized this was what peace felt like and she was home where she belonged. She remembered her mother hugging her welcoming her back. She recalled having no worries, and most importantly she remembered_ her_. A little girl with the same brown eyes and charming smile she loved; his sister. She was everything Buffy imagined the girl to be and they had a common interest…keeping Angel safe. Kathy only saw the good in her big brother Liam, and Buffy was happy to know she wasn't alone on that fact anymore.

She knew she was giving Angel a hard time but she couldn't help it. She felt so empty. She didn't want to be here and wanted to get back as soon as possible. She wasn't considering how the consequences of her actions affected her dark knight. The bath room thing was a slight accident. She just blacked out, but ever since angel didn't leave her alone; she liked the thought of not being alone and having him there with her. She didn't want to get better, or at least a part of her didn't because when she did he would leave.

As she stared into the fire she remembered him leaving more clearly and she was terrified of going through this pain she was feeling alone. She felt his arms move around her and she stiffened as he heard him speak. They were probably words of love but she couldn't get his harsh words out of his head.

"When are you leaving", she asked him. Her voice was hoarse and quiet while she continued to stare dead at the fire watching it dance.

It was Angel turn to stiffen. It was only for a second then he held her tighter. Those were the first words she had said to him and it cut him like a blade. 'Buffy", he called placing slight kisses on her neck to gain her attention. "Buffy look at me", he mumbled quietly and she turned her head slightly to meet his eyes. The warm hazel eyes were still dead looking but he vowed silently that he would put the warmth back in them, if it was the last thing he did. "I'm not going anywhere", he vowed silently praying that she believed him.

Buffy scoffed. She didn't believe him. He fed her the lies before. As long as she stayed weak she could keep him but she knew as soon as she got better he would be gone and where would that leave her?

"I promised you always Buffy. It's time I start to keep that part of the promise", he assured her.

She picked up one of his hands and examined it. The hand was cold but getting warmer by the second because of her. She remembered reading about what these hands done to millions. She remembered all the good he done with them as well. She remembered first hand of what these big strong merciless hands were capable of and she could tell that he was lying.

"Angelus", she whispered.

Rather she was calling him that or remembering something he didn't know. Angel instinctively let go remembering the harsh things that his demon had done to millions…to her. Angel had no words of comfort the only way to protect her from him was leaving; they both knew it was a matter of time.

"Just what I thought", she said getting up off him fast. "Leave now, before I remember how to hope for things that will never come". She turned to leave not looking back. She had nowhere to go, but she couldn't look at him any longer so she traveled up the stairs to the roof balcony and watched the sunrise. Into the day where she didn't belong but it was the one place he couldn't follow.

Angel stayed on the couch letting what Buffy said to him sink in. Was he giving her false hope? He didn't think so. Not anymore; world be damn. She wanted him to leave but they both knew she was in no condition to be left alone. It was angel turn to stare deadly at the fire as tears ran down his cheeks. It was now he who had been dealt with the harsh reality that they were playing with fire. One bit of happiness and the game was over.

He didn't know how long it was until he smelt warm blood being waved under his nose. He looked up at Buffy questionably. She was still in his shirt but it was tied up and she had found some of the clothes he had brought over for her. He took the cup from her graciously. On his little earns he forgot all about him. He was just worried about leaving her alone for far more then he had too.

"How long has it been since you ate", she asked quietly.

"I can ask you the same", he said taking a sip of the warm liquid.

"No one saw me, I needed fresh air and you needed food". She was looking at her fingers instead of him. "Your only putting me in more harm not taking care of yourself", she spat out remembering when she landed in the hospital because she donated blood to him. He looked so fragile, it made her heart bleed. She already was incomplete and if Angel was to die she couldn't deal with the despair.

"I would never do that to you again. I have survived off less", he yelled angrily at that. Buffy thought he was going to bite her at any minute. "Get over yourself slayer, I would never hurt you Buffy", he added more softly. He finished his drink and out of the corner of his eye he saw a hand come flying towards him as he put the cup down.

"Liar", she yelled as she socked him dead in the jaw. He stumbled slightly back on the couch and looked up to see Buffy glaring at him ready for a fight.

"I don't want to fight you Buffy", he said testing his jaw seeing if it was broken. He knew she was angry at the world and need to let out her frustrations the only way she knew how. He was thankful that she didn't get into a brawl on her 'fresh air' walk because she was blind in fury and being blinded by anything made you an easy target. He ducked the next right hook she threw at him and with lightening speed he was off the couch and behind her. Buffy merely spun around and kicked him sending him flying across the room. Not even seconds later she was on top of him beating the shit out of him. Some he deflected while others made full impact. Effortlessly he pushed her off him.

"Is that all you got buff", he taunted. Her punches lacked the usual sting. He didn't want to fight her but she needed a release. She needed him and for better or worse he would be there.

The nickname didn't go unnoticed by either of them. And it had the desired effect. Buffy charged but he was faster. Anything she threw at him he deflected or dodged. He was always a step ahead using her momentum against her urging her to go faster, to be faster. They danced liked that for a few hours. Sometimes angel threw a punch in to test her reflexes. The punches were always a little slow because true to his word he wasn't going to hurt her. She dodged them effortlessly and when they were at it for too long somehow weapons were added.

It became a full on sword fight. Buffy was like a mad woman increasing g speed and anger. The sound of swords hitting together filled the room. Angel could tell Buffy was getting tired. Her shoulders were sagging and her hits weren't as strong. He kicked the sword out of her hand and threw her to the far wall. She needed to regroup. He knew that and more importantly she knew that if she wanted to win that was what she needed to do. He started pacing in front of her grinning like a cat who corned his prey advancing slowly.

The irony of this situation wasn't lost. They had been here before when Buffy admitted defeat, when she lost hope and welcomed the feeling of death.

"_Now that's everything, huh? No weapons….no friends….no hope_", he mocked her repeating the words his demon ushered years ago.

Buffy closed her eyes remembering the monster with her lovers face. Here was when she was ready to submit, again. Would he end her suffering? Then she didn't know of what was beyond this life and now she did. She wanted to welcome it again but then everything clicked.

"_Take all that away….and what's left_", he asked.

Good question what was left? She knew that giving up and going back would be the easy route. But Buffy didn't do easy, people needed her, the world needed her. She couldn't go back to being exactly the same but she was stronger than this.

Angel prayed that she would come to her senses and blocked this deadly blow as he drew his sword back and thrust directly in front of her face. He smirked, inwardly relieved as it really was déjà vu and she swings up with both arms lightening face and caught the blade between the palms of her hands. She opened her eyes to meet his and the warmth and hope and determination that he loved was shining through. _That's my girl,_ he thought.

"Me", she declared and tosses the sword running into his arms. She was home. This was home and for her to keep it she had to fight. She cried openly into his chest. She cried for all she lost and all she feared to lose again.

"It's okay, I got you. I'm so sorry for putting you through that" he said gently as he rubbed her back listening to her cry.

"I'm done hiding".

"Come back to LA with me".

"I would follow you anywhere", she admitted quietly.

"Are you ready to tell me what was bothering you love", he asked just as quietly.

"I was in heaven. They could never know".


	8. Chapter 8

**thanks for the reviews!**

**Disclaimers Alert!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>The lovely couple stood outside of the Hyperion hotel. Buffy was pacing back and forth and Angel was staring at her worriedly.<p>

"What if I'm not ready, what if I'm not strong enough", she asked panicking while she was still pacing as more and more doubts came into her head.

Angel got off the wall he was leaning on and pulled her to him, holding her tightly. "We could always go back….or go somewhere just us for a while longer", he said quietly leaning down to kiss her forehead.

Buffy wasn't opposed to the idea. She rather liked living with Angel; being alone with Angel. Ever since they had that big fight, she wasn't as defeated and lost anymore. She re found her purpose; she found it in him. Being just the two of them was nice but it was also deadly. She was in no position to fight off Angelus if they slipped up and over the past week there had been a few almost slips that they decided that maybe it was time to head to the City of Angels.

Now Buffy wasn't so sure. She never met them; she was worried that they wouldn't like her. She already knew Cordy hated her with a vengeance… that was a no brainer. Even when every fiber told her to duck for cover, she couldn't. She was the slayer and she had her Angel and with him she could get through this. "No….not that I don't like the idea of me and you running off….starting off somewhere else I'm not wired that way. Let's just go inside and get this over with", she told him quietly looking into his big brown eyes and getting lost in them.

"That's my girl", Angel said proudly giving her a reassuring squeeze before taking her hand and leading her to the door. He pulled the door open and ushered her inside out of the cold air breeze. He turned to her and whispered for her to "breathe".

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><p>Inside it was business as usual. Cordy was filing things that really didn't need to be filled while Gunn and Wes were informing her on how the battle went. It was a two headed snake and the seven feet hell beast wouldn't die. The thing had eight lives and it left Wesley with a big slash on his arm from the elbow to his palm. His face was all beaten and bruised and Gunn wasn't looking much better. He had a cut running down the side of his face. The other two brunettes were listening intensely as the two men told them all the bloody gruesome details.<p>

They heard the door to the lobby chimed and they all stopped and looked at the person coming in. it was 1 o clock in the morning and yeah helping the helpless didn't exactly ring 9 to 5 but the two men couldn't slay nothing else without their boss.

"Angel", Cordy screamed excitedly running to give him a hug but stopped mid stride as he shook his head at her.

"Hey Cordy, hey guys looks like I missed a party", he joked trying to put them at ease before he brought another ex back from the dead into their lives. He felt Buffy's heart pounding as she melted into his back and he heard Dawn whispered a 'go for it' towards Fred.

"Hey big bro your timing sucked….so do your phone calls. What was up with that we haven't heard from you in like a month", she said hotly. Her green eyes were blazing at him looking like a little Buffy clone.

He gulped visibly and felt Buffy tense at her sister's voice. "Sorry to run off like that but something's are more important", he said forcefully letting them all know he wasn't going into detail. "Speaking of important…..shouldn't you be sleep", he asked. She only scoffed in response.

Fred started going towards him meekly. "I'm so glad you're back and alright", she singed. There was no way she was going to tell him she had a crush on him now in front of everyone. She would wait until they were alone so she could embarrass herself in front of one person. She and Dawn talked about it over the last month or so. Dawn wasn't really signing on as a campaign rep and she could see how her eyes where always guarded but she convinced her it wasn't good to have your feelings bottled up.

Wesley cleared his throat. "So I presume that um that B- um the problem was handled. Is everything okay, grave still intact and everything? Cordiela said that someone tried to do like a zombie like ", the ex watcher started to explain the seer's vision but cut off as Angel growling reached his ears.

"Everything is not okay", Angel growled. He felt Buffy tense up and smelt her fear at the word zombie. This was not what he needed. "But we are going to deal, and adjust. Now without further interruptions before someone else says something stupid", he mumbled the last part. He stepped aside and small gasps were heard around the room. "Say hi to Buffy". _'The love of my undead life'_, he thought to himself.

Gunn and Fred looked startled. "Wasn't she dead….or isn't she. This not her ghost again is it", Gunn asked quietly.

Cordy was first to get over her shock. "Buffy's here…great guess you didn't stop the ritual", Cordy dead panned looking at Buffy like an alien.

Buffy vaguely remembered coming to LA to resolve some unsettle business with helped by the powers that Be. She had to get Angel to not kill himself after he heard the news of her death. She wasn't sure if they still remembered that or if the powers erased that cosmic time from their memoires. Mustering all her courage she addressed the group with her head held high. "Hi", she said congratulating herself for sounding so strong.

Dawn couldn't believe it. She was standing in shock. Her sister was alive. This was a dream. It had to be some sick joke. Green hazel met the same shade of green and she stood shakily placing her hand over her heart. "Buffy", she gasped out in surprise.

Buffy stood there not expecting to see Dawn here. She planned to walk in with confidence because no one actually knew her well enough to judge the comparisons of the before and after. Seeing Dawn threw her off and Buffy just stared at her not knowing what to do. Buffy was terrified; if Dawn was here did that mean the others…the one that brought her back were here too? She felt trapped because she did not want to see them.

Dawn moved closer to her cautiously. "Buffy- I'm your sister- Dawn", she said coming to stand right in front of her still not believing that this was real. "is it really you" she cried.

Buffy looked at Angel who was just as tensed and cautious as she was ready to come to her aid at any second. "Dawn", the blond slayer said so quietly feeling extremely unsure. Not a moment later she found herself being embraced by her sobbing sister.

"I'm so happy your back….i knew Angel would find a way to bring you back you're here we could go home now everything is going to be okay", Dawn cried clinging to Buffy for dear life.

Buffy tensed. The movement went unnoticed to Dawn and neither did Buffy stiff moments when she embraced her back. Her sister needed to cry and she would let her even though it was she who lost everything but it was one thing that dawn needed to understand. "I am home Dawn. I'm not going anywhere…I'm staying with my Angel", she stated blandly feeling her sister stiffen.

"What do you mean Buffy? Do Willow and them know yet", she asked slightly confused as Buffy broke out of their embrace and instantly grabbed Angel.

This time Angel spoke addressing everyone. "Not a word leaves this room. Buffy is staying here as long as she wants and you will treat her with the same respect as you do me. Don't let looks deceive you she is the strongest person I've ever met and if anything happens to her I will become your worst nightmare that means mentally or physically. So, no telling the Scoobies and no more zombie rituals is that clear. Now I'll make sure to catch up with everyone later but right now we're a little tired so we'll catch you later", he said making eye contact with everyone as he ushered Buffy to his room.

"Are you sure there just friends now because I would sure like a crack at that", he started to say only to be cut off by an angry growl from the stairwell.

"Don't you dare finish that statement….but since you like to crack something open you can get my wife's suitcases out the trunk", growled a very pissed off Angel before disappearing in thin air.

"That's not creepy at all", Gunn muttered as he went to get the suitcases muttering something like 'why couldn't he ask one of the white people to do it'.

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><p>Everything was exactly how she remembered; only this was her first time here. She wondered if he remembered. Feeling him behind her she did a sharp intake of breath. He took off her jacket hovering above her neck and she shivered. He grinned as he heard her heart skip a beat and kissed his mark nibbling it with his blunt teeth.<p>

Buffy became incredibly aroused. She had to be the first slayer in history to actually like getting bitten. "Don't promise me a good time", she grinned softly.

"Don't leave when I close my eyes".

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><p>Cordiela slammed all the files on the table. Things were not going as she planned and it was all because a little blond slayer wanted to crawl herself back from the grave. It's been a week and it was always about Buffy this and Buffy that. Buffy barely talked to anyone unless it was Angel and already she stole the spotlight. She was sick of the blonde vamp tramp. She was happy that she was alive and kicking but it would be awesome if she would be alive and kicking somewhere else. She'd seen the future and the blond slayer wasn't a part of it.<p>

"Cordiela are you okay", Angel asked as she hollered about another nail after slamming papers down on her desk.

"So you care now" she muttered under her breath.

Angel gave her a charming smile. "Of course I care; you're really special to me Cord. You're my best friend", he grinned. Okay maybe best was pushing it but they been through a lot together. He could tell she was on the end of her rope; Buffy and her never got along…tolerated was putting it mildly on the best of days.

"Where's the soul mate that you can never really have because Angelus would eat us and dance on our graves", she stated heatedly.

Angel eyes narrowed at the constant reminder of not being able to get what he wanted. They came pretty close to doing the deed and the first night he brought her to LA. It was so tempting, the fire was blazing with desire on both ends but he knew he had to stop. Even without the whole alter ego killing everybody he wouldn't take advantage of her like this. She was getting stronger everyday and thankfully the suicide stunts were over but she wasn't interested in making love. No, his Buffy was only invested in feeling something besides the darkness and that more than anything scared him.

"Hey no claws", he joked.

Cordy laughed. "I think I can take her".

This time Angel laughed. "You're something else", he admitted. "So about this case", he stated coming to the real reason he was dealing with Cordy this early in the morning. A month on Buff duty and he was ready to get back to killing things hopefully taking Buffy with him.

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><p>It was almost sunset as Buffy stood on the roof of the hotel. It was peaceful up here and the view was amazing. It was the perfect chance to get over her nerves at the first patrol from being back. Angel convinced her earlier saying she needed to patrol again and what better way to start by helping pick off a vampire nest from attacking a college party followed by the after party at the cemetery.<p>

She inhaled sharply closing her eyes and letting the breeze flow threw her hair before turning around and catching the knife that was thrown at her head. _Really she couldn't enjoy one moment of peace?_

"What", she asked puzzled coming face to face with Wesley.

"Don't doubt in your abilities because it's who you are", he stated gravely coming to stand beside her.

Buffy immediately grew defensive. "So the reason you tried to kill me was because….not that I'm complaining but I think Angel would kill you", she trailed off.

Wes chuckled before shutting up as the blonde slayer glared at him. "You looked unsure so I decided to remind you of who you are. The watcher may be gone but the training and knowledge is up here", he states pointing to his head. "That was one of the first tests to figure out if you were a slayer remember", he asked softly.

Buffy relaxed remembering all too well when Giles threw a knife at her head. "Thanks I guess I needed that", she chuckled humorlessly. "I haven't been feeling like a slayer lately", she admitted. Sure she was antsy and wanted to stake something but she realized that she was becoming completely co dependant on Angel. She didn't want to go back to Sunnydale. She just wanted him and that thought scared her because she was always independent and always did her job. She was like the postal service hail, sleet, rain or snow she fought demons not caring if it was life threatening or not.

"Well I would be honored to help you get back on track", he admitted. True he was only her watcher for a minute and they really didn't get along but he was proud of his charge accomplishments.

Buffy wrinkled her noise. "Save the old dusty text books… I just came back from retirement", she joked. They both knew the only way a slayer retired was in a grave. "Plus, I feel like I would be betraying Giles".

"It's okay Buffy. I still have faith in you", he told her.

Buffy turned her eyes on the sunset watching the sky grew darker. "At least someone does", she stated grimly before perking up at the nights sky. "Now excuse me I got to go find my honey", she stated turning on her heels to do just that.

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><p>"Ready", Angel said kissing her forehead.<p>

"I was born ready. It's what I'm made for, remember", she said giving him a shaky smile.

Angel gave her his best charming smile and handed her a stake. "I love you", he told her softly staring into her eyes. He was searching for any tell-tale signs that she wasn't ready.

Buffy demeanor straighten and her eyes harden as she met his challenge. "Don't worry I can do this. I love you too; I'm Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This is what I was chosen to do and we're wasting time. Let's move".

Angel smirked at her before leading the way out the door. The gang was taking the car to their destination while he and Buffy followed by foot. The couple arrived nearly a whole two minutes before the car pulled up at the phrat house.

"Here's the plan me and Buffy take the back entrance you guys take the front", ordered Angel.

"Wait we don't know how many are there and where", asked Gunn not really feeling the spirit to show up blind.

Buffy closed her eyes to calm herself before looking at Angel. "Ten maybe fifteen tops" she asked. Angel confirmed it with a nod.

Gunn looked startled. "How can you tell", he asked.

Buffy shrugged. "My slayer senses are tingling. Can feel them, we have to hurry".

"So why we not paired up with of them he asked Wesley as they made their way to the front door.

"Because, it's Buffy's first night back; if she were to freeze, Angel would be the better on equip to bring her back to the fight", Wes supplied.

Gunn thought about it. "Yea well, that makes sense".

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><p>Buffy dodged a roundabout kick to her jaw and countered it with a punch to the vampire's midsection sending her flying before turning around and staking the vamp behind her. She turned to the side to see Angel actually rip the head off one with his bare hands. She stared in awe and that was enough time for a vamp to come behind her and punch her in the head. "Slayer", it hissed. "I'm going to kill you". Buffy quickly recovered and spun around on it ramming her stake in its heart. The vampire mutters a cry of surprise. "It wouldn't have matter, I don't stay dead long". The fight was slowing down by the time the other two guys made an appearance.<p>

Buffy had one pinned to the ground when she seen two trying to escape. She quickly dusted the one she was on and made a run for them. Angel and the others were still busy but she knew Angel would be by her side in no time. Buffy chased them into an alley. It was as dead as night and she couldn't see them but she could feel them. Suddenly one popped out from its hidden place slamming her against the fence. Buffy immediately shoved him off her and dropkicked him. She started madly attacking him in a blind rage that she failed to see the other one creep up behind her.

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><p>As soon as the three left the guys dusted the others fairly quick. "Does this seem too easy for you guys", asked Gunn.<p>

Angel was still on alert when something very big hit him. "Where's Buffy", he asked. He mentally cursed himself for not paying attention. "Go back, I'm a track her" and then he was gone. He ended up finding her in an alley.

"Oh god, Buffy".

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><p><strong>And scene...i'm thinking character death is coming up really soon...ima little evil i know but please review anyways!<strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Hola hola hola thanks for all the reviews!**

** i decided that ima finish this story first but im dying to get back to the buffs and and angel's little bun in the over...thanks again for all the comments and insights you really inspired me to lead this story in a new direction...and i would never kill off Buffy...but someone will hit the hay soon...haven't figured out the master plan yet but your welcome to read what i got!**

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><p>"Oh my god Buffy", he gasped out coming closer to her.<p>

Buffy turned around fiercely, putting away her stake. "I'm fine Angel", she reassured him not looking at his face. She just beat the vampire to a plump. Her hands were bloody ad in her actions she failed to notice when one escaped. She was not fine….borderline pissed but nowhere near fine.

"You're not fine", Angel whispered lifting her chin so he can establish some form of eye contact. "Your hurt", he said noticing the blood on both her hands and the open cut on her face. He gently moved his fingers over it. When he got to the alley he was already fearing the worst and smelling the blood just intensified his fears. Smelling her blood just made it more real. He known it's been a month almost two but he was worried about her. Losing her seemed to be something that he was good at doing and watching her fight strong and confident he felt that he was getting ready to say good bye all over again. He became use to having her around 24/7. Buffy would argue that she was the one that became dependent on him but the truth was he was just as dependant on her.

"Angel, you don't look so fine yourself…I'm fine", she whispered as he stared at her in a daze losing himself in his thoughts before snapping out of them and attacking her mouth with a vengeance.

At first Buffy was shocked. Ever since she came back Angel treated her like a china doll but this time there was no holding back. She felt the primal need and raw love…he needed this and so did she. She returned the favor wrapping her legs around him while he stumbled to a wall in blind heat trapping Buffy against it.

After what seemed like forever he broke away from her lips so she could breathe but his lips never left her skin. He trailed down her neck nibbling and sucking as he reached his mark before he made love to it. Buffy moans of satisfaction only fueled his fire and he brought one hand up to fell her chest while the other was holding her up and messaging her inner thigh. He bites down hard with his blunt teeth and he smelt Buffy arousal building. He grinded his own arousal against her making soft purring noises.

"Do it Angel….drink baby please", she moan Buffy was right there moving her body to be in sync with his. She was right there on the blink of bliss_. 'This is what it feels like to be alive'_ she thought.

Her words to Angel though were like a bucket of cold water breaking the spell and clearing the fog. He was dry humping Buffy in an alley with intentions of doing way worse. He stiffen and buried his face in the crook of her neck before glancing at the teeth marks and in unmistakable hickey the size of a golf ball. He jumped back as if she was a cross herself only to be trapped in a slayers grip. "Buffy, I'm so sorry", he started to repeat guiltily explaining his actions.

Buffy tired to shake the lust from her hooded eyes and become more coherent and just like Angel's member that was still pressed against her; it was a hard. "Angel", she panted huskily. She didn't mean to sound that way at all but her voice wasn't getting the no sex allowed program. "Look at me", she pleaded.

Not being able to deny her anything he did and Buffy shook with lust all over again and involuntary moved against him. God she wanted this man so much in front of her. She smiled lovingly as she gazed at his face. Gone were the brown eyes that she knew and loved and instead they were the yellowish golden color she loved as well. She figured he didn't know that he was in game face and she smiled all the more knowing that he hated it. She reached out and caressed his face loving the ridges underneath her touch. She saw the moment he realized he was in game face as he tried to look away but the soft caress turned into a firm hand holding his head in place. Before leaning in and kissing him softly on the lips.

Angel didn't even realize that he was showing his true face until Buffy hand was exploring the ridges on him. He hated her seeing him like this. It was like another constant reminder that he wasn't good enough. He just seen her beat one of his kind to a bloody pulp and her she was gazing lovingly at him while he was looking like the vamp that he was. She leaned in to kiss him and her lips felt like heaven or the closet thing he was ever going to get to the pearly gates. _'God I loved this woman'_, he thought as she stood her kissing him fangs and all.

"I barely notice" she sighed as she leaned back on the brick wall behind her looking completely content.

"Beloved-Buffy I'm sorry this was wrong you shouldn't live like this", he stated mentally steeling his heart. If you love someone let them go. But he truly didn't know how many times he could watch her leave but for her happiness he was willing to feel like he was run over by a semi truck.

"I'm only living because I'm with you. Don't you love me? Shouldn't my happiness matter? I'm not some little girl who doesn't know what she wants", she bit back unconsciously tightening her grip on him.

He groaned at the pressure it felt like a snake was wrapped around his waist trying to crush him. If he was human he would have been dead, another reminder to him that she wasn't normal.

"Being the slayer aged me. Waking up and digging my way out of my own grave aged me", she said quietly losing her grip on him as if she was just realizing that it was painful as hell but she had no intentions of saying sorry. "I had no fight left in me. A slayer with no fight", she laughed humorlessly. "But you came back to me and you catered me back to life and I knew that I was going to be okay because as long as you never abandon me the world never could. We both had bad experiences, as much as you hate to admit it we're both creatures of the night. The only difference is that I don't wake up feeling sorry for myself", she said detangling herself from him and walking away.

She didn't know where she was going but she knew she couldn't be with him for another second. She had to try to steel her heart for the pain that she knew was coming. She heard him calling for her; felt him moving closer… so she ran. She knew her little harsh speech was going to do wonders on his conscious; rather for good or bad she didn't know. All she knew was that she was tired and she needed to get away from him before he caught her. She ran to a place she haven't been to in a while and knocked frantically on the door. He was less than a block away. Lesson number one you could never out run a vamp; especially an old one.

"Anne", the lady asked.

Buffy shook her head franticly, "please can I come in", she begged.

The woman hurriedly let Buffy in and not a moment too soon because Angel was right behind her and the invisible barrier made her untouchable.

It was another blow below the belt telling him that he wasn't good enough. Angel stared at the door blocking him from his mate and growled at it. He knew it wasn't the lady fault that let Buffy in or the door because it was a damn object. He waited to the sun came up before he left. He knew he had no one else to blame but his self that night for the reason he was going home alone.

He walked numbly back to the hotel and went to check on Dawn as he did before her sister's resurrection before going back into his room. He pictured them making love for hours and the way his soul was breaking when she left him. He had made love to a ghost but it all felt so real to him. He pictured the words she kept saying over and over again in his head. He groaned this was the first time he was going to sleep alone since she's been back. For a vampire that was used to being alone it was the toughest thing he had to do. He signed restlessly and went down stairs to do some research because there was no way he was sleeping tonight.

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><p>Buffy awoke from a dreamless slumber in an unknown room. "Angel", she called out to the empty room but he was nowhere in sight. She didn't feel the safeness in his embrace, or the comforting tinge in her stomach from his presence. He wasn't here because she did want to hear the words that were fated to come. Buffy signed and realized that it was 5:30 in the morning and the sun was just rising. She got up grateful for the change of clothes she found from Anne and took a shower because there was no way she was going to be able to go back to sleep without him.<p>

"Hey Anne", the woman from last night greeted her when she came down the stairs.

"Morning Anne, and its Buffy now….just Buffy, thanks for letting me stay here", she thanked.

"No problem, I owe you my life and besides it's what friends do. Mind telling me what you're running from", asked Anne.

Buffy laughed bitterly. "Fate", she replied drily.

"Come on eat up. I'm an early riser so I cooked breakfast", the woman explained.

"You really didn't have too, I'm not hungry", was Buffy automatic response.

Anne just looked at her.

"Okay maybe I am", Buffy joked sitting down enjoying her food.

"You can't run forever Buffy, you taught me that. I can't believe you're here. How long are you staying in LA?"

"I'm looking forward to forever, but a couple more months at least. I'm staying with my", Buffy trailed off. What was Angel exactly? The term boyfriend seemed inadequate, they were never just friends, soul mates fit perfectly but it sounded weird. "Im staying with my Husband he owns that Hyperion Hotel", Buffy supplied. It was sort of true they were married in Angel's cultural and in every way that mattered all they were missing was the sheet of paper in the law's eyes.

"Oh really my friend works there. Actually he should be on his way over now", she exclaimed.

Buffy froze. It was such a small world sometimes.

"You know a guy name Gunn", she asked.

Buffy smiled. She spoken to him once or twice and he really was nice. They spent the rest of their morning talking about their lives. Buffy giving the abridge version of course and making plans to keep in touch. Gunn dropped by to pick up some breakfast too and made sure she was alright and left probably to check in with Angel. Buffy decided that she over stayed her welcome and went to spend some much needed time with her sister. It was almost time to get out of school so Buffy figured what better time to get some shopping done. A little heart retail therapy with Angel's credit card would cheer her right up. She was now very happy she accepted it from him. Cordy was fuming but it was a done deal. Maybe she would even buy him a birthday gift since it was coming up after all you live to be 250 once right?

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><p>"Hey Dawnie", Buffy said as she stood outside of Heremy High. She got there thirty minutes early and decided to look around only to be told that she needed an escort because apparently they still remember the gym explosion. Buffy rolled her eyes if it wasn't for her half of that graduating class would have been vamp food and they got a brand new gym out of the deal. It's been like what five years she thought they were over that chapter in her life but just like her, things didn't always stay buried.<p>

She walked around the premises and saw the football and cheerleader team practicing making her miss her old life before the darkness was introduced to her. She briefly wondered what her life would have been like but then dismissed it because without this gig she wouldn't have Dawnie or her Angel. She watched them practice for a while and earned a few wolf whistles in her direction. Buffy blushed awkwardly trying to act like it never happened. She was extremely glad that the bell rung and Dawn was getting out on time. She had gotten four marriage proposals and double the amounts of people either asking or trying to get her number.

"Buffy, not that I'm not totally geeked to see you but what are you doing here and I know you are way older than me but where were you last night Angel was a total wreck and I was so worried", Dawn babbled; a common Summers trait.

Buffy launched herself in her sister's arms mumbling her apologies. ''Me and Angel got into a little heated discussion and I stayed with a friend. Wasn't really hard since the world didn't know I died", she added bitterly. She was pissed that she was torn out of heaven but even more so that they acted like it never happened not feeling the need to let other people in her life before them know that she blew the hay. That only confirmed her early suspicions that they planned this from the begging. She knew Dawnie and Angel were blindsided as much as she was but could one blame her for wanting to send Angelus after them?

"Buff I'm so sorry", Dawn started to say but Buffy stopped her.

"Don't I'm here now with you that's is all that matters….that and I may have scored you a date with the star quarterback this Friday so let's go shopping", Buffy squealed forgetting all her current problems and enjoying the stolen time she now had with her sister.

Dawn froze. Her sister did not just say what she thought she said. "Rewind pause. You alive for five minutes and you land a date with the Mike Anderson".

"No I'm alive for five minutes and I landed you a date. I told him I was married but I had a sister who was to die for… literally", Buffy smiled and squeezing Dawn into a hug lightly because of her strength. She knew how Dawn felt about her death from Angel and she wanted Dawn to know it wasn't her fault.

The sisters shared eye contact and Dawn smiled getting the message that Buffy wanted her to understand. "Well I am kind of cute and super smart", she joked lightening the mood as they walked to the mall.

"Don't push it kiddo", Buffy said joking right back.

Shopping and a little sister bonding time was just what the doctor ordered as the two made their way back to the hotel. It was two hours before sunset she wanted to be home before Angel woke up plus she didn't want them to think Dawn was in danger. The two sisters joked and bickered on their way back when they passed a park and a bunch of kids where playing. One kid in particular caught her eye and Buffy froze. This was not happening, it couldn't; but the similarities where sticking. The kid turned and smiled at her.

Buffy didn't know how long she was in a dazed but she was brought back to reality when Dawn threw her heavy book bag at her face and she caught it on instinct. "what the hell Dawn, you couldn't pinch me or wave a hand in my face like a normal person", she asked still spaced out so her words lacked the usual bite.

Dawn gawked at her. "I did", she dead panned. "And I got nothing. Are you alright what's wrong is there evil or something afoot", she asked.

Buffy snapped out of it thinking it was just her imagination. 'it was definitely something", she agreed. Her slayer senses where tingling there was no way it was her imagination now.

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><p><strong>Nothing like bonding time with a long lost sister back from the dead...i felt that they needed this time to bond. stay tuned for the Angel confrontation...he needs to realize that she has a brain of her own and is not his childe but his equal and get over his im not worthy monologue...Any guess to who buffy saw and how will this effect them?<strong>


	10. Chapter 10

**thanks for everything!**

**Disclaimers**** all day everyday!**

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><p>Angel paced his office like a caged animal plotting to escape. He refused to sleep and he was too busy worrying about her. That woman drove him crazy. All he was doing was looking out for her. Sure he was throwing his heart to the ground and watching it get ran over a million times because he couldn't be with the love of his very long undead life but that wasn't the point. He was used to darkness…he was used to pain but she…she was his light. Said light needed to be protected from the world, from him, and from herself.<p>

"Angel, my man Cord had a vision thing we need to head out. Wes got the add…", Gunn said trailing off as he heard a low menacing growl and took in Angel appearance. Gunn actually took a step back. Angel was in game face, his hair was a mess, and he had blood stained tears running down his cheeks.

"Get out", Angel barked out. "You think I give a shit when Buffy is out there somewhere doing gods know what. I'm not going anywhere lass until me Buffy come back", he growled slipping back into his old accent.

Gunn knew that Angel wouldn't kill him. He knew Angel could with no problem besides the guilt but he was fairly confident that he wouldn't, which was the only reason he jumped in Angel face getting ready to tell his boss about himself. "You know what Angel; you need to get your shit together. Here you are with this hot mortal combat Barbie chick that loves you…that face included and you're pushing her out the door. It's no wonder she didn't come back last night. You got what you wanted…Buffy's gone. Sorry to tell you it's probably all your fault now get off your sorry ass grab an ax cuz someone needs our help. In case you forgotten you can't exactly say _'sorry come again later I'm not in the mood'_, when we're in the business of helping the helpless."

Angel grabbed Gunn by his collar pulling him off the floor. Gunn feel were dangling in the air. Despite his anger Angel spoke nice and calm. "Boy, you know nothing of Buffy and I. You don't know what we been through, you don't know how much I sacrifice to make sure your still breathing. You think you seen monsters from hell, well I'm telling you that when I get to cloud nine I'm like the devil himself. So don't walk up in here like you know me because you don't. You know the highly revised edited clip notes that they tell second grades for spooky stories. So don't tempt me boy, I'm not really a nice type of guy". With that Angel threw Gunn down and picked up an ax, whipped his face of the bloody tears and walked out.

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><p>Turns out Wesley and Gunn wasn't even needed. Angel effectively used that demon as his personal punching bag receiving a couple nasty hits in return. Wesley simply couldn't hold it in any longer as he watched Angel go to his cabinet and pull out the Irish whiskey he kept there.<p>

"Angel", the British man called.

Angel glanced over at Wes, "do you want some", he asked giddily as he poured himself a shot.

"No, and I don't think you should have any more either. What would Buffy think? You have been drinking that all morning", he asked hoping to get Angel to come to his senses.

"Wanna know a secret", Angel asked really low.

"I'm afraid to ask", Cordy chided as she came into the office.

"Buffy isn't here, I'm tired of turning my brain to mush wondering when… no if she's coming back. The old me before her wouldn't care but she changed me…both of me and now I can't even kill things to take out my anger because the demons wanted to run and hide. So what Buffy doesn't know won't kill her, apparently nothing does", he said dropping the empty glass in his hand and chugging the bottle as he sat in his big chair.

The three stared at him with wide eyes too scared to do anything else. Cordy finally had enough of this and ushered the two guys out and closed the door behind her when she returned. "Okay, I think someone drunk enough tonight, big guy why don't you hand it over and tell cord what hurricane did this time", she cooed grapping the bottle and putting it back to the cabinet.

"I don't know, if I try hard enough I don't remember but she was so angry at me Cor I needs to fix this so her and I can be together", he said pounding his fist into his chest.

"You will", she said taking his hands and kneeling before him causing him to look down at her. "You will get through whatever this is but maybe this relationship thing has finally come full circle. Hear me out but maybe you need to let go. There are other good fish in the sea", she said wincing on how Angel tightened his grip on her hand into a steel tight grip unconsciously.

Pain must have been adamant on her face because he immediately let go. "I'm sorry", he winced pulling his hand away to avoid anymore harm. "You're going to need ice soon", he noted as he stared at her wrist. "It's not broken but possible sprung, definitely swelling up but there's no problem with the blood circulation", he continued staring at it.

"Forget about the wrist, please it's creepy that you can do that", she replied suppressing a shiver. "This is about you and your happiness not perfect but you know what I mean", she joked and he caught the ghost of a smile.

"You're trying to force this because you feel obligated because you weren't there to save her. Everything was good before she came back. You were healing and us", she started unsure of how to finish.

Angel looked at her curiously. "Us', he repeated extremely confused until some type of recognition drawled on his face. He picked up her hand gently messaging it since she refused to get some damn ice. "Cordy, you been there for me since the begging and I care about you a lot" he trailed off as the smell of his mate close by registered in his senses. "Buffy", he said breathlessly like always letting go of Cordy and getting up to go to her only to succeed in falling right back in his chair. Guess he was still drink after all.

Buffy stood on the wall observing their interactions coolly. The scene she just walked in on was bizarre. Now Angel was fighting to stand up and Cordelia was still kneeling on the floor with her dare caught in headlights expression before it turned smug. "Don't let me interrupt", Buffy stated dryly. Her eyes became hard but she kept her cool passive posture up even though inside she was fuming.

Angel felt her bottled up hostility and immediately sobered up determine to get to her this time. "Buffy it's not like that I was just telling Cord", he started.

Buffy shook her head. She didn't need to hear the rest of that confession of whatever the hell it was.

"That even though she's been there through so much", he said turning to look Cordy in the eyes as she finally stood up. "You're just a friend, a really good one I don't deserve but I'm lucky neither the less". He turned towards Buffy again grabbing her hands relived when she didn't hit him. "Besides", he adds softly. "I already given my heart and soul away"

All Buffy anger deflated. "I love you too. I don't want to fight anymore but we have things that can't be left unsaid".

"Your right, Cordy can you leave us for a second", Angel asked noticing the fact she was still in the room.

"You're asking me to leave", she asked appalled.

Buffy snapped, "I'm back now Cordiela your services are no longer required but be sure to ring us if you get a vision kay".

"Cordy stormed out muttering, "oh I'll get a vision alright'.

Angel opened his mouth to say something but Buffy lifted her hand to stop him.

"Not tonight, I didn't get any sleep last night and you didn't get any today plus you're drunk. So what do you say we call a truce and sleep off whatever we're feeling at the moment and talk tomorrow because I can't sleep another night without you", she reasoned.

Angel smiled and lead the way to their bed room stumbling here and there. As they lay in bed wrapped in each other's arms quickly drifting off to sleep they marveled at how right it felt. Neither knew it would be a long while before they had this again.

"I love you beloved", Angel said groggily pulling her closer and kissing her forehead.

"I love you too my Angel".

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><p><strong>short i know but i felt they needed some more mush and i didn't want them to end on bad terms!<strong>

**please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**_ thanks and i'm bout to warn you it's bout to get a little angsty...but check out this fast updates lol sorry it's soooooooooo short...Disclaimers!_**

_When you're dreaming with a broken heart_  
><em>The waking up is the hardest part<em>  
><em>You roll outta bed and down on your knees<em>  
><em>And for the moment you can hardly breathe<em>  
><em>Wondering was she really here?<em>  
><em>Is she standing in my room?<em>  
><em>No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone...<em>

Angel groaned as he woke up. It was his least favorite day today. He was officially 250 only good thing was he got to spend it with Buffy. He leaned over and inhaled his mate's pillow with a giddy smile wondering what Buffy had planned for him. She may hate her birthday like the plaque but she always wanted to celebrate his even though it was his least favorite thing to do. He went to take a shower preparing himself for when she came in and wrapped her arms around him kissing him good morning even though it was nearly four in the afternoon.

Going into his closet he saw the weirdest thing but figured he was still groggy from his peaceful dream. All of Buffy clothes were gone almost as if they were never there. There wasn't as much as a bra on the floor. She knew he hated her leaving her things everywhere so she did it because she thought it was cute. "Maybe she decided to clean today, lords knows that's the second best present she could give me…second to her being here", he thought out loud as he dressed for the day. He couldn't wait to see her, he even decided to wear white like he used to when they first met. He couldn't shake the happiness in this moment, and he couldn't wait to see his beloved. He whistled while he came down the stairs.

"Someone's in a happy mood", Gunn noticed as he was cleaning his crossbow.

"Don't jinks it, I haven't seen him smile in months. Happy Birthday, Angel", Cordy smiled as she hugged him and kissed him on the cheek.

Angel was confused. He has been smiling ever since he found out his beloved was back from the grave. "Thanks Cordy", he said still slightly puzzled.

"I take it you're finally allowing me to take you to Vegas", Gunn asked.

"Yea and maybe Fred will actually have a conversation with someone other than Angel. I say let's party, I mean how many people gets to be 250 years old", congratulated Wesley.

Now angel was even more confused. "Uh, thanks guys really but can you tell me were Buffy is she's not in the hotel. Did she say when she was coming back and where's Dawn", he asked hopefully.

Cordiela dropped the glass she just picked up. Wesley and Gunn just stared concerned at their friend. The b word was not something that came out of his mouth lightly or something that came out for about ten months give or take.

Angel saw as the entire light atmosphere changed into tension at the mention of his beloved's name. "Is there something I needs to know", he growled out. They were acting freaking weird; first the clothes, now this. The pieces weren't adding up. She said that they could talk and worked things out. He was looking forward to forever; he was going to make it work. No more talks about babies and picnics and sunshine but it didn't matter she left without saying goodbye. Karma was bitch, but he wished desperately that something else was amidst.

"We were going to last forever this time", he whispered brokenly before steeling his face. "We talked last night and promised a truce as we went to sleep. Tell me she's coming back with a really huge cake and the laundry", he asked louder this time joking humorless as he watched his employees become paler than he was.

"Angelcakes are you okay, what all this about the Slayer all of the sudden", asked Lorne coming into the lobby. "Happy 2 centuries and a half by the way", he congratulated.

"What", Angel asked perplexed.

Cordy couldn't watch angel suffer anymore. He actually thought Buffy was going to walk into the room at any minute. "Sweetie remembered there was a fight, Willow came and told us. Angel it's been almost a year since she died. She isn't coming with a cake or laundry and if she were alive Buffy wouldn't do laundry willingly with a ten foot pole", she stated bluntly.

"What", Angel stated again feeling his legs might go out at any second. What the hell, he thought. "You're lying", he yelled. "You've been mad ever since she came back because she took this position that you never had. Newsflash you can never replace her, you can dye you hair, get contacts, be all non Cordy and be emotional but you never will be. You can never smell like her, and you will never taste like her…you will never be her", he responded coldly making her flinch.

"Angel", she started shaking her head and trying to hide the tears. "I love you", she confessed not caring about who else sees. "I only want the best for you", she reasoned.

"I love her", he spat.

"You can't love a dead woman", she bit back the bitch was back.

"I held her in my arms last night. She's not dead. She is not dead, I heard her heart beat", he replied determined but really he was falling apart. They were all telling him that the last two months hasn't been real, that he's been living this fantasy. He was not Dru, he saw her climb out of her grave. He didn't know what was going on but he couldn't feel her anymore and if he wasn't already dead then that would have been the trick. It wasn't sunset yet but he could take the sewers.

He needed to figure out what the hell was happening. He paused as he saw a black box on his desk with the red bow and white tag. 'Lover', it read. No name but he knew who it was from. He opened it and inside of it were fresh rose pedals and two CD's. One was a movie called Twilight and the other was label 'play me first'.

Her face was probably going to be on it. Hey honey filled voice was going to haunt him on that video recording. She couldn't be dead. He wasn't playing either of them until she was back in his arms. Come hell or high water he would find her.

Angel didn't know where he was going as he walked out the hotel. All he knew was that he had to find her.

_When you're dreaming with a broken heart_  
><em>The giving up is the hardest part<em>  
><em>She takes you in with your crying eyes<em>  
><em>Then all at once you have to say goodbye<em>  
><em>Wondering could you stay my love?<em>  
><em>Will you wake up by my side?<em>  
><em>No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone...<em>

_John Mayer_

_**"Dreaming With A Broken Heart"**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimers i dont own Buffy/Angel...**

hope you guys had a lovely holiday...

i know some are confused just bare with me lol

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><p><em><strong><strong>"Just A Dream"<strong>  
>-Nelly<strong>_

_I was thinking bout her, thinkin bout me_  
><em>Thinkin bout us, what we gon' be<em>  
><em>Open my eyes yeah, it was only Just A Dream<em>  
><em>So I travelled back, down that road<em>  
><em>Will she come back, no one knows<em>  
><em>I realize yeah, it was only Just A Dream<em>

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><p>Angel searched aimlessly for Buffy. He checked everywhere, he even checked Sunnydale but it wasn't like he could ask Willow if she seen her or heard from her. Buffy had no intentions of going back anyways but it was worth a shot. He even searched the mansion but that place was exactly how he left it two years ago. None of Buffy things were there, expect her night bag that she left when she was patrolling years ago and needed to clean up before she went home. The same clothes he dressed her in when she came back from the grave.<p>

This wasn't how he saw today going. So here he was at her grave staring at the headstone. The grass didn't look new but he had to know for sure if he was crazy and really had lost his mind. He closed his eyes tightly and prayed that this was some joke and she was not under there alone rotting.

Buffy would kill him, hell her friends would kill him but he wasn't leaving this grave without knowing for sure. He found a shovel by a tombstone and proceeded to dig. he dug for hours before he reached metal. He carefully opened up the casket only to make a horrifying discovery. Maybe he was crazy because sure enough there was his beloved skeleton staring back at him. it never happened. All of it was just a dream.

Angel stumbled blindly back to Los Angeles. He couldn't believe it. Everything felt so real. He should have known that the only way people came back was if they been turned. He couldn't deal with this right now. He stumbled to caritas and proceeded to drink himself into abyss. Maybe that was the reason he was in the mess in the first place. The gang said he been in and out coherence for the last month.

Stuff was getting ridiculous, Angel was tired of not being able to do something that made him feel better because he would be guilty later. He stayed away from her to protect her from angelus, to protect the world from him. The world didn't feel like something that needed to be saving without her in it. She was his redemption; he was just to blind to see it. Maybe being his old self would take the pain away. Deep down he knew it was a lie. If he could still feel the love when he was soulless he knew without a doubt he was going to be twice as empty without her soulless. Only difference would be that he can take his anger out on the world avenging his mate.

"I know you", this old homeless man came up to him.

Angel ignored him and kept on moving. He had things to do or more like remove.

"You're Angelus. You're that demon that harmed my tribe", the man stated.

It was such an unlike Angel thing to do but he grinned. Underneath the odor he smelt a gypsy. What were the odds that he would find the answer to his problems on the same night? If he was in a more lucid state he would have been suspicious but right now he couldn't care. He couldn't wait to get this soul out of him.

"I'm not", Angel denied mournfully before lifting his head up grinning like the devil himself. "But I want to be, and your just the man to help", he replied.

* * *

><p>"Why are we doing this without Angel? We didn't even say goodbye. It's the least we could do it is his birthday", asked a very annoyed Dawn for like the fifth time.<p>

Buffy paced the living room of the mansion frustrated and tired of both her situation and her sisters ranting. "Don't you think I know that? Goodbyes are always harder, it was better like this", she decided running her hands threw her hair.

"That's lame Buffy and heartless of you", Dawn retorted.

"Well you didn't have to come. I'm fine on my own I can handle this. I'm strong…Angel would want me to be strong so that's what I'm doing. I'm going to march up in there tonight and say guess what guys I'm breathing. This is just something I need to do by myself. I've been hiding and living a dream but now it's time to go back".

"I still don't understand leaving in the dead of night without a note", the younger Summers replied.

"Look Dawn. I know but it had to be done", Buffy yelled.

"Why", Dawn asked stubbornly. "I hate being shut out in the dark. Let me in Buffy tell me what happen because nothing short of a …no not even an apocalypse can separate you two. Is this about that fight? Is that why you left?"

Buffy sighed deeply. "No, this isn't about some stupid fight between me and Angel, Dawnie nothing ever is; it's much more than that. It always will be and they will just continue to play us like puppets until we're both dead for good. Apparently they had this plan and by staying with Angel and not coming back to Sunnydale I fucked up their bliss, so they decided to make a deal and fuck up mine"

Dawn head was spinning. "Deal", she asked confused. "Buffy whose "they" and what deal did you make", Dawn asked more softly seeing her sister face noticing for the first time her slayer mask face swift and took in her tired and wary expression.

"Look Dawn I'm tired so I'm going to take a nap before we go back to Willows and see the gang. Its daylight so if you want to get a head start go ahead but I need to be alone right now. I promise I'll tell you everything later", Buffy said dejectedly heading towards her room.

"Buffy', Dawn called out to her.

Buffy sighed again but reluctantly turned around. She didn't say anything. Buffy was done talking.

"I'm here whenever you need me. We'll face them together. We're sisters remember, we have each other's backs".

Buffy gave a small smile. "I know Dawn, I love you", Buffy said quietly.

Dawn smiled brightly. This was the first time that Buffy said that since she came back. "I know I love you too".

With that said Buffy nodded and went to her room closing the door behind her. She slid on the floor and cried. She had two hours to pull herself together. Slayers don't cry they were strong and strong was what she needed to be if she ever wanted to see Angel again. Eventually she managed to crawl to the bed and pull herself together. The covers still smelt like him and it was that thought that pulled her into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

><p>She was running as fast as she could. The demon population diminished greatly since the night they tried to bring Buffy back but it was still the Hell Mouth. It was one vamp and she was a very powerful wicca so she figured she could take it. Only problem was that she wasn't as fast and he looked to be really old. It was always the old ones you have to look out for. It was just about to bit her when it froze picking up a long dead scent. He grinned and prepared to savor this meal to gather strength when he suddenly was shoved towards the ground. The slayer stood before him in the flesh.<p>

Said girl turned to the victim and froze. This was not how she wanted to meet her. "Heeey Will", Buffy said attentively. The redhead just stared in shock and Buffy waited for her to say something with calculating eyes. The vamp saw that they were distracted and chose that moment to attack the blond slayer. Buffy side stepped him easily and sent a right hook to his jaw. He pulled back and kicked her in the face.

"That was not nice", she sneered. "you are so dusted". Buffy lost all pretences and quickly ended the fight until nothing was left but ash blowing in the wind. The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as she realized there were people coming this way. At least one was a vampire.

"Buffybot", will stated coming to her senses and realizing that her friend was dead. Buffy just tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Thanks for saving me now I need to check your programming later to make sure noting went wrong".

"No it's me Will, we went to high school together, heartbreaks, apocalypse you name it", Buffy replied.

Will just shook her head frantically and Buffy stared at her ex best friend before turning around and launching a swing at the approaching attacker colliding with his nose.

"Bloody hell", the offender said in a heavy British accent. Buffy knew that voice and she remembered feeling irritated by it. "Bloody hell I swear I'm as sober as a kitten…..how are you alive", he asked her in awe.

Now it was Buffy turn to stare blankly at the vampire in front of her. Her instincts were telling her to keep her guard up but she felt something noggin at the back of her head.

"Bloody hell pet you don't remember do you", he asked carefully still amaze at the sound of her heart beat. He declared in that moment that it was the most beautiful sound in the word.

Buffy gasped slightly, this was not how she planned this. "I do remember Spike", she said bitterly wishing she didn't.

"Buffy", Willow whispered uncertainly.

"I thought we went over this. I'm me back alive and kicking", she joked.

Willow ran and hugged her crying "I thought we lost you", over and over again. Just like Dawn she didn't notice that the hug wasn't returned as joyously. She didn't feel the stiffness in the slayers body as she tried to control her anger and the very person that brought her back. Willow didn't notice. However Spike did.

Buffy broke the hug and tried to ignore the hurt in her friend's eyes. "Can we go see the others, I want to get this over with so I can return home", she said quietly.

Willow nodded understanding. "Sure, you must be tired but there is something you need to know before I take you home. Giles was so overcome with grief and went back to England and Dawn ran away to live with Angel, but we'll call them as soon as possible.

Buffy bit back her sob and hastily retreat. 'She wasn't here because she wanted to be here' is what she wanted to say but replied, "okay let's go see the gang".

Xander, Anya and Willow all sat in shock in the living room looking at their long lost friend. Buffy felt like an experiment on display. No one said anything for the longest time.

"How are you not dead", Anya asked bluntly breaking the ice.

"Well, actually", Buffy gulped. "I don't know magic I guess", Buffy deadpanned making Willow flinch.

"Oh god that's was months ago", Xander stated horrified. His best friend was alone going through a hard time by herself. "We left you alone".

"Buffy we're so sorry but we had to get you out of hell. We couldn't let you be tortured like Angel, but why didn't you come to us sooner. We would have taken care of you", Willow cried.

Buffy claimed up at the mention of her burning in hell. She was wondering should she tell them that she's living with Angel and they were making it work. Buffy was about to answer when the witch jumped up, "oh I need to call Dawnie she would be so happy".

Just as she was reaching towards the phone Dawn opened the door. "No need guys long time, no see", she joked. Everyone ran to greet her and Xander joked saying it was like a family reunion.

Spike stood back a little while with his eyes narrowed. "You already knew where Dawn was. Say slayer, how long have you been back you don't look like a disoriented fledgling. Poof is a nice cologne on you love", he said fervently. Sneering on how his grandsire was the one to find her first. She looked like she never left; she looked gorgeous to him and untouchable thanks to his grandsire nursing her back to health making her just as arrogant as the Poof himself. He could see in her eyes that she climbed her way out when she kept glancing at her hands on the way back from the cemetery. Maybe it wasn't too late to play hero and give buff a shoulder to lean on so he could have her for himself. After all, the poof wasn't here with her.

"Wait….Poof", Xander asked as the pieces where clicking in his head. "You went looking for Dead Boy and not your friends. Did you come back mentally retarded? Oh god, did you two do the nasty…is he Angelus again", he moaned frantically.

Buffy face hardened. "I didn't go looking for Angel, he came to me and since you call him Dead Boy are you going to start calling me Dead Girl", she snapped wanting to snap something else.

"No Buffy of course not but he had no right to keep you from us", he tired to reason.

"He had every right", yelled Dawn defending her bro and her big sis. "When I first say her she wasn't herself. He was protecting her. Angel loves her so much…", she trailed off wondering if she should tell them what happened the night Buffy came back.

"She didn't need protection from us", Willow yelled back.

"I beg to differ. You didn't see what I saw, what I can still see", Dawn quirked back.

"guys please stop", Buffy shouted. "I'm back now ok, the slayer is ready for business so can we keep my mate's name out of it. Now I'm tired and I'm going to bed. Is my room still the same", she asked.

Xander was still stuck. 'Mate", he asked confused.

"Yes, mates. Normally it's when both demons lay a claim on the other usually branding them somewhere. For vamps it would be their bite mark. Vampires mate for life and can fell whatever their mated ones are feeling. When said mates die, normally the other one kills himself because they can't live with the agony of it. They are very primal and protective of them lacking logic which explains why Angel locked you up and hid you. Can you imagine just having sex with one person for the eternity? Even though Buffy you are really lucky to be mated with Angelus, I heard he was a sex god and was as good in bed as he was in torturing and killing. Too bad he's a one lady guy now. It's get's me hot just thinking about it. Lucky girl", Anya congratulated.

Buffy blushed. "um, you know you just said that out loud", Buffy stated trying to get used to Anya's blunt facts.

Spike and Xander was outraged. "You let him bite you", they both asked.

"We've been mated since before graduation. Never felt more alive but I'm done talking about this. Can't we be happy that I'm back and not pissed off because Angel decided to play Tarzan? I'm going to sleep, we have business to discuss in the morning", she said stomping up the stairs only to put a hole in one of the stairs. "Opps", she whispered going to her room.

It was weird being in here again. Everything looked the same and for that she was grateful. She was just climbing into bed when the door creaked open.

"What happen to sitting still and coming together", Dawn asked quietly. "Are you okay", she asked the worry was laced in her voice as she closed the door behind her.

"I was antsy, it's a known fact that slayers don't stay still and I'm tough; I'll deal", Buffy shrugged.

"Their trying Buffy, their just hurt", Dawn said quietly.

Buffy scoffed. "But Dawnie, I'm the victim", she whispered. Dawn pulled her into a hug.

"What does that mean Buffy", she asked softly.

"It's not important anymore. I'm glad you're here", the blonde acknowledged.

"I'm glad you're here too. Now tell me about this deal you made this morning", the brunette asked knowing her older sister thought she was going to get away with it.

Buffy signed and began to tell the tale. "Remember that kid at the playground, I know I might sound crazy but that was Angel's sister…."

Dawn looked skeptical.

"Don't laugh at me, it gets crazier".

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><p><strong>So are you guys ready for this crazy story...<strong>

**i brought in the Scooby gang and they are mad at Angel. Speaking of which i know it's like a really bad time for him right now. just wanna put it on record that's not my fault! **


	13. Chapter 13

**_Sorry for the confusion...needed a twist as always thanks for reading. Sorry it took so long finals are evil!_**

**_Hope this explains some things!_**

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><p><em>Buffy signed and began to tell the tale. "Remember that kid at the playground, I know I might sound crazy but that was Angel's sister…."<em>

_Dawn looked skeptical._

"_Don't laugh at me, it gets crazier"._

_**Earlier that morning **_

Buffy awoke to the most incredible sensation ever. Strong arms were wrapped around her. The clause was about Angel's happiness but it had nothing to do with hers. Last night he complete ravished her into oblivion and Buffy was selfish to admit that she enjoyed it. They couldn't fulfill the deed but they came pretty close. Buffy turned to her vampire lover. He looked so young when he slept, all of his guilt faded away replaced with a content smile on his face. Today was his 250th birthday, the day when Liam O' Brien was born into this world and ironically the day Angel was born as well.

She contemplated kissing him awake but she didn't want to ruin the surprise. It was easier to sneak off and get everything ready when he was sleeping than it was if he was awake. She leaned into him for a couple of minutes savoring the feeling before calming her breathing and with a slayers grace hurried out of his arms. She then quickly sprayed her pillow with some of her perfume and held back a laugh when Angel immediately reached for it pulling it closer to him.

Damn, she was good. This little trick of hers plus the emotional roller coaster they been on the last couple of days assured to make sure he slept long enough for her to come back and wake him up when she was ready.

Buffy floated down the stairs on cloud nine. She was going to bake Angel a birthday cake. She knew she wasn't the best cook in the world but he wasn't going to taste it anyways. Plus she decided to be a little creative. She was going to mix her blood with the icing to give it a really kick to his taste buds. She thought about adding it in with the cake instead of vanilla extract but thought about the time when she overheated the pigs' blood. Not only the smell was horrible but it was the first time she actually seen him spit out anything. So blood baked for 30 mins was looking like a really bad idea. He would wake up panicking thinking that her latest suicide attempt was to throw herself in the over.

Shaking her head getting out of her thoughts she wondered what type of demon they would have to slay today. She hoped none but she knew between her and Angel hell always came down on their birthdays like nobody's business.

"Hey guys, what's popping is everything in the go ahead for my man's b-day. Gun you'll cover for me if he wakes up and I'm gone", she asked excitedly.

Gunn gave her a mock salute. "Morning to you too B, and don't worry I got it covered".

Buffy grinned before turning to Cordy with a serious expression. "You are to tell the people that send those visions into your little head to shove it. Not tonight, tonight is about Angel I love saving people as much as the previous slayer but I'm off the clock. Today I wanna act like the perfect house wife that even does the stinky laundry. Got it', she ordered.

"My visions don't work like that", Cordiela snapped.

"Well then you'd be the one fighting them; cause I'm off the clock. Now can you tell me where the laundry room is, I'm bout to wash clothes. Angel is going to freak", Buffy squealed.

"If you want sleeping vampires to lie, I suggest being quiet is a must", Wesley supplied.

Buffy blushed and whispered, "Quiet as mouse, is what I'll be". She then went to do the house work, making sure Angel was waking up to a clean room today.

"Mice aren't quiet", Gunn shouted back.

An hour later Buffy came back down stairs exhausted. The gang was hovering around this book doing some research so she slipped into the kitchen unnoticed and proceeded to get the ingredients for the cake. Buffy was happily stirring away when out of the corner of her eye she saw a burette with long hair walk into the kitchen. The slayer figured it was Dawn and turned around to great her. "Hey Dawn", she greeted than took in the person before her.

"You're not my sister", the slayer stated dumb founded placing the mixing bowl down instantly becoming defensive.

The girl smiled. She was dressed in modern clothing but she was anything but. "no, no I'm not lass but don't I get a hug from an old friend", she smiled even brighter.

"It depends on why you're here, shouldn't you be up there. Not that I'm not happy to see you but I'm confused Kat, why are you here and why can I still understand you. You don't know English I most certainly don't know Gaelic, every time Angel gets over emotion about anything he just starts speaking it acting like I can understand. Lord knows I don't have a clue", Buffy cried giddily.

"I speak in the language of Angels, surely you haven't forgot that we can understand all even if you can't speak it anymore or don't realize your are", Kathy replied.

"Oh", Buffy stated dumbfounded.

"Me's been hear a lot. Watching over both you and Liam, you're both good for each other ye know".

"You watch over me now", Buffy asked in awe. "That's must be a full time job", the slayer joked.

"You just lost your way for a little while I'm here to lead you back on the path that your suppose to be on", she stated calmly.

"Well, I'm fine making Liam's Birthday surprise. I'm off the clock and this path better not be in Sunnydale because I'm staying with Angel sweetie but while you're here. Why don't I wake him up and it could be a family reunion. That would be like the best birthday present ever just to see your face once more after he gets over the guilt and anguish. You can tell him, what you told me. that you don't blame him and that your proud of him", Buffy encouraged.

Kathy sighed. "I can't, I wish I could but I can't".

Buffy face hardened. "You mean you won't", Buffy corrected.

"He isn't suppose to see me, until recently you weren't suppose to see me, but I've always been here making sure you don't have another premature trip back to thy heavens for good", she spoke her voice was calm and completely un-childlike.

Buffy stared hard at the twelve years old ghost that has been dead for 200 and plus years. She looked just like her Angel with the brown hair and eyes, not to mention the smile that could charm the devil. There was no doubt that they weren't related. The girl in front of her was like a carbon copy of her lover.

"The bathroom incident", Buffy acknowledged soberly. "It was you who told Angel to come check on me. It was you who saved me, wasn't it".

Kathy nodded.

"Why", Buffy cried.

"Because, you're meant to do great things…everything happens for a reason, you just have to keep living to find out what it is", the Irish girl smiled again skipping up to hug Buffy.

"I found it, my reason to live is upstairs waiting to be awoken with hugs and kisses and birthday wishes. The slayer died, go find somebody else to save the world", Buff told her soberly.

"Every action has a reaction. You're not supposed to be here you belong in Sunnydale. The end of days are coming we need you strong".

"I am strong", Buffy argued. "Don't you want to see Angel happy, or are you still bitter deep down because Angelus killed you", she snapped. "He's not the same person and even if he were it's his birthday and your telling me to leave him", Buffy cried hysterically.

"The powers are willing to make a deal", the girl told her.

"Screw their deal", Buffy countered as she began pouring the batter in the pan.

"A year ago Liam was robbed of his chance at a life; a human life so the powers blessed him with a son", Kathy stated coldly.

Buffy felt suckered punched, _why hadn't Angel told her, why couldn't she be the child's mother_.

"Liam doesn't know and now it doesn't matter. The mother was killed by a watcher last month. The same watcher who was supposed to be in Sunnydale, because of his charge returned from the grave. The mother was four months pregnant; the baby died when the mother turned to dust".

Buffy braced herself on the table counter digesting the information. "Giles killed Darla and it's my fault, I'm sorry to say I don't really feel that torn up about it. I am really sorry about the baby, Angel would have made a great father but I don't see what I can do to fix this. If I leave the baby is still gone, I can't bring it back. You spoke of a deal, will it help bring back Angel's little boy", she asked quietly trying to hold in her unshed tears.

"No not exactly but if you go back to Sunnydale, Angel gets what he always wanted", she said vaguely.

"Can't you turn back time and let Angel have his son instead", Buffy cried.

"That's out of my hands, but I can give my brother back his humanity and so much more", she said mournfully.

"If he gave it up once, what makes you think he's dying at the opportunity now", Buffy retorted.

Kathy just giggled causing Buffy anger to deflate. Reminding herself that dead or not she was Angel's little sister. "You really do love my brother don't you", she asked dreamily. "I find that so romantic, I always knew Liam was a true prince charming, Buffy you're like a sister to me. I love him too, I only want to see him happy so you have to trust me".

Buffy thought about it. She always said that you couldn't trust certain things like vamps, ghosts, and the PTB because you couldn't catch their bluffs. "I'm listening", Buffy sighed.

Kathy smiled and explained the situation. She told the slayer that she had to return to Sunnydale immediately so the alternative universe can become effective. He won't know of her returning to the land of the living and he will be tested on his faith, duty and love to you, while you will be tested on the same. They had separate paths that's they must complete before they could get their perfect happiness. Once all this was over she and Angel could finally get their happy ever after.

Buffy scoffed Angel was dutiful to a fault but she continued to listen. Turns out the powers were getting their powerful slayer back at the hell mouth and she was getting a curse free Angel with his soul bounded for good. They would have to suffer for a little while but she always believed that true love and passion went hand in hand with misery and destruction.

"I have one request", the slayer stated. The younger girl nodded as if to say she was listening. "When this is over, no buts or I'm going upstairs and we'll figure out a way on our own", Buffy warned. "You let him see you and you tell him what you told me. Tell him that you forgive him and you love him", Buffy cried. "You tell him or I'm not doing this", she stated firmly.

"Is this the only way", she giggled at the plan request. "I promise I will and I I will watch out for my big brother while you're gone", she answered more soberly.

'_See you soon my Angel'_, Buffy thought as she walked out of the lobby and the love of her life. This is not a goodbye, she whispered. "It's a see you later".

* * *

><p><strong>Tell me what cha think!<strong>

**Please Review**


	14. Chapter 14

thanks for being kind and patient. Happy new years!

I dont own Buffy but enjoy the read!

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><p>There were a few differences between these times and before her death. One being that instead of returning home every night she went to the mansion. Giles had came back home but things between them was kind of strained. Buffy knew it wasn't Giles fault but he indivertibly killed Angel's kid. That was something that Buffy couldn't just act like it was okay. The blonde slayer was also quieter than she had been. The gang hadn't noticed that after a certain amount of time her smiles where strained and her eyes were hard. These were the people that ripped her away from heavy. As much as Buffy tried to forgive them she couldn't. She was starting to feel empty again. She was playing a role that didn't fit right anymore. She felt like she was living in someone else life and she hated it.<p>

Things were starting to get back to normal for the Scooby gang. With Buffy being back from the dead, the demon population decreased greatly and the Scoobies had their best friend back. Willow was still mad that Angel hid her from them but eventually she promised to not turn Angel into a frog. Buffy was getting back into her normal routine and dawn was once again attending Sunnydale high. Buffy though coming back to the real world was going to be extremely difficult because of taking care of her and Dawine. She thought she was going to be swimming in bills and mortgage but she was pleasantly surprised that Angel had taken care of it. She didn't mean like he paid a small portion; no he paid it all. Before she died she was buried in debt and now she didn't owe a dime. She still decided that she needed a job to support her and her sister. She didn't understand why she was the only one that seemed to be trying to get a job. Why couldn't Willow or Tara get one again? Was it not enough that she patrolled and saved the world on the regular? Why couldn't they get off their wicca asses to bring in a steady paycheck for a change?

It's been almost a month since that fateful day she said goodbye to L.A and came back to Sunnydale. She missed him, so much. She needed him so bad now and the fact that he wasn't there only added to her inner depression. She knew she had a job to do and when it was over they could be together again. No more loop holes and no more curses, but finally free to live their perfect happiness. She just wished that Spike would leave her alone.

Even after all this time he was still in love with her. It would be so easy to use that knowledge and to use him to feel anything even if it was disgust and hatred because that was better than feeling nothing at all. Buffy face grimaced in disgust.

_No that wasn't right_, she scolded herself, she had a boyfriend. For all intents and purposes they were married. Especially in the demon world; she had two little marks on her neck to prove it. They had salvaged their relationship and making it work she didn't need Spike. She didn't need the Angel replacement. She didn't know how demon marriages worked but she was pretty sure sleeping with his childe was grounds for divorce….if he didn't kill her first. Plus that mad Spike like her step grandson and that was nasty. She knew demons didn't think like that because of the no soul equal no morals but hers were still in take and she was grossed out. After her last job tried to kill her Buffycut her hair. Now you could clearly see the two little holes on the left side of her neck. It seemed like the war was endless and she and her Angel would never find their way back to each other.

Everything happens eventually.

Out of nowhere Buffyslayers senses were tingling her. She forged sleep to count how many she could sense but only felt one and assumed it was Spike. She clutched the stake in her arm just in case because technically even if she lived in the mansion, a master vamp still owned the property so she couldn't be too sure. She felt them hovering over her and she lifted her stake to his heart and opened her eyes right as she was about to hit the mark.

"Spike", she gritted out through clutched teeth.

Sure enough she was looking into bluish eyes morphing into gold. "Damn slayer", he hissed.

"What the hell are you doing in my room shit my house for that matter", she asked still holding her weapon. She may have lowered it but her guard was anything but down. She silently cursed herself for wearing nothing but Angel's shirt as the vamp drank her in hungrily.

Spike smirked. "Well if you want to get technical…I lived here first", he sung reaching out to touch her face.

Buff held her ground. "Touch me and we'll see if everything does grow back eventually", she warned. "What are you doing her Spike", she spat.

He grinned. "Well, love I'm her to finish what we started".

Buffy groaned.

Today had to be the worst day ever. They had just got rid of the devil that was trying to marry Dawn and turning them into a Broadway musical. She ended up revealing to him that she was in heaven and they exchanged some words.

* * *

><p>"<em>Spike go away", she screamed.<em>

"_No pet, why don't you make me", he teased back._

_It's been a tiresome day and she was fed up with his arrogance. She was the slayer, she let him live, she made sure he didn't starve to death and his soulless ass mocked her. She spun around and decked him. Intestinally he punched her back landing a right hook and was pleasantly surprised when he didn't feel an ounce of pain. Buffy stumbled back in shocked. He grinned like a wild cat. "See pet, you came back wrong. I can't hit humans."_

_Buffy narrowed her eyes. She was feeling too shocked to form a thought. She always wondered. Angel hadn't said anything but he thought nothing was wrong to her having bed hair so that didn't help her. Angel tasted her right before she left and smelt enough of her blood from suicide attempts and hadn't voiced a changed. When he drank he told her it was just how he remembered it…..remembered her. _

"_Shut up", Buffy screamed. The only two words she could form at the moment with all this new information. A small part told her that Spike was trying to manipulate her to bend to his will and he couldn't be trusted because he was soulless. Vamps lie as humans breathe air. Yet, a bigger part told her wondered if that was true. _

_They went back and forth a few times and before either knew it Buffylips were on his. She immediately pulled away once she realized what she was doing and to whom. Buffy did something very un slayer lake. She slapped him horrified at her own actions and ran. She ran from the betrayal she knew Angel was going to feel, she ran from the possibility of actually coming back wrong. As soon as she reached the mansion she grabbed a bottle of holy water and used it as mouth wash._

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><p>"That was a mistake", she spat leaping up putting distance between them. "I'm Angel's", she declared and he sneered. He was before her in an instant and she momentarily forgot how fast he was.<p>

"I don't see him anywhere. He left you; he always leaves so the way I see it, you're free to do whoever you want. Angel doesn't own you kitten", he said pinning her to the wall rubbing his hands along her thigh.

"Spike let me go", Buffy pleaded as he started to rip open her shirt. She was tired of fighting everything especially when it was too easy to just give in. But she was in their room. She never felt this weak as she pleaded for Spike to leave. When he tightened his grip on and leaned into kiss her she knew she was going to have to fight.

"You're not going anywhere. Your mine", he purred.

"I beg to differ", a voiced boomed from the doorway.


	15. Chapter 15

**thanks for the love and as you know i dont own Buffy/ Angel but please enjoy and comment. i love reading what you think!**

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><p>"You know getting rid of the soul meant I wasn't supposed to care…at all", Angelus stated sharpening his knife.<p>

Cordy eyes widen terrified at the actions of her former boss and friend. "Angel, please this isn't you! You don't really want to kill me", she cried.

Angelus just smirked at her. "Then tell me what I want Cordy", he mocked huskily.

Cordiela smiled seductively. Angel was finally seeing the light. Ever since his birthday he claimed that Buffy was alive. It was really starting to get annoying until she had a vision that Angelus was back and the blonde bitch truly was alive. She didn't think Angel had it in him, to just give up the good fight but he did. The gang was not stupid enough to stay in the hotel, so they all went to Wesley's to regroup. It's been almost a month since and she snuck out in hopes to lure him into her mastermind plan with the beast. Just recently they managed to get eternal darkness over LA, but she needed an evil genius in order to make it global and unchangeable. It also helped that he was really a nice piece of man candy.

"You want me, we could rule the world together forever", she cooed.

Angelus faced darkened at the word "forever" but Cordy must have mistaken it for lust and desire. "Forever is a really long time", he said dropping down to his knees in front of her, placing the knife down. Gently tracing her jaw line he eyed her jugular.

"Oh yes but I'm sure we'll managed to keep ourselves entertained", she moaned enjoying his soft caresses.

"Yea well see Cordy there's a couple of flaws in that evil brain of yours", he stated keeping his voice calm and continuing his caresses but this time tracing the skin right above her waistline. He heard her grasp and he chuckled. "I can smell it, you haven't been human for a while now snow princess but you were never in my way so I never cared…the soul just didn't want to believe it but now my resources tell me you're the reason for this 24/7 no sun buffet", he replied grinning causing Cordy to breathe a sigh of relief. "Now how does an ex cheerleader manage to do all that", he asked looking genuinely interested.

Cordy opened her mouth to explain, being glad that she was going to live another day. Suddenly Angelus hands went around her throat in a millisecond lifting her up so her feet were dangling off the floor. He grinned sweetly like a child on Christmas. "My little birdie also told me that you stole my soul and by killing you I get my lover back".

Cordy was gasping for air. "Please, no", she choked out.

"But it's what I want. Any last words", he asked as he still was holding her throat in a death grip tightening it ever so slightly. Cordy gave him a puppy dog look and in that moment he twisted her neck in that same moment and dropped her unceremonious to the floor. He then picked up his long forgot knife and disconnected her head like butter.

"Just to be sure", he smirked before dusting his duster and walking out of the lobby doors of the hotel with his dead friend head in tow.

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><p>Angelus was deep in thought as he made his way to the post office. After almost a whole year of dealing with the pain of being without his mate and putting up with the souls guilt for it he was finally getting to be with her. He was still a little confused? Did that mean that she was alive or was he going to die and they reunite in the afterlife? Either way Buffy take one look at him and they would be fighting like cats and dogs but at least that was better than her rotting in the ground. He was going to punish her for making him feel such emotions. He wasn't going to kill her but she needed to pay for losing. She had to pay for making the Scrooge of Europe love's bitch. He was going to make sure that she never died again and if she did he was done making promises and was going to welcome hell as an old friend.<p>

"I who be sees excess to the knowing ones. I may just survive", he chanted over the old time stone and the door opened.

"Lower being, what have you brought us", bawled a man's voice.

Angelus looked around not seeing anyone. He growled, he only like games he was in control over. "I thought I was no longer a lower being and I brought you sunlight and the head of the person who caused it to disappear", he said throwing the head at the pillars.

Two oracles caught it just in time eyeing it with disgust. "Death holds no value to us especially one of a lower being. Vampire you may leave now, your destiny no longer concerns us", he shooed.

Angelus stepped closer eyeing up the oracle in front of him and tightening the grip of his knife in his pocket. How dare they play him as a fool while dangling the one thing that he wants in front of him like a piece of meat and he took the bait hoping against hope that all was not lost.

"The devil is alive and well! Is it because I'm no longer one of your puppets", he mocked. "My fate shouldn't concern you at all but you guys are the one that decided to play a part in it, now it's time to clean up your mess. I did what you ask! Now it's time to live up to your side of the bargain".

"As I said you are no longer a warrior, you may bask in your own fates as you seek fit and leave our warrior alone", said the other oracle.

"You are wrong", a figured said as she entered the room wearing all white. Her skin was glowing and it appeared as if she floated on air.

Angelus could tell that she wasn't human yet she smelt familiar. He still growled at the interruption. Her voice was heavenly and familiar. He heard it before a long time ago but he couldn't remember where, until it clicked. His fate was going to be determined by the sister he killed.

"Kathy", he stated. It wasn't a question. He couldn't forget a face or a scent but here he was wishing that he was wrong. Only problem he was never wrong.

"Liam", she answered smiling down at him sweetly.

Angel dropped to his feet in grief while tears over took his eyes. "I am so sorry. I couldn't stop, I am so sorry baby sister. I was suppose to protect you but I couldn't save you from myself",he said wondering why the soul was taking control once more.

"As touching as a family reunion is. This is a waste of time", said the shorter oracle.

"No, I'm here on the account of two warriors and to fulfill a promise. This was done by a greatness higher than what you see here dear brother", she replied.

"Yes the future is no longer set in stone. It is beyond our reach and important life has been erased and the unknown has been created", declared one of the oracles.

"What does that mean, and what happened to me? I swore I was evil before you came here. God you don't know how much it hurts to give into my nature instead of coping with the pain of losing the love of your life", he pleaded wordlessly asking for them to get rid of his soul again.

"Good is your nature Liam", Kathy agued. "I forgive you, it wasn't you, and it wasn't even the demon that walked in here. You have changed. You found love and I'm so proud of my big brother", she smiled looking up at him with her big brown eyes full of love.

"Kat I love you and I miss you so much", Angel whispered softly walking up to her cautiously afraid she would disappear. She giggled at his mannerisms and jumped into his arms.

"I love and miss you too but I'm not worried about you. And I know someone that misses you more. Go to her. Your place is by her side always. Go to her, your soul is bound. Continue to fight the good fight, but do it together. You have so much to do; your future is going to be amazing because you're an amazing man."

Angel inhaled her scent deeply. "Buffy's gone Kat and these fools tricked me to doing their dirty work so I can have her back, but she's gone". His voice caught at the end.

"Trust me, she's very much alive and is as stubborn as you are".

He looked at her confused and she kissed his cheek and memories came flooding back to him. Memories of him coaxing Buffy back to the land of the living, of her coming to live in LA. It was all real! People told him they were episodes but he knew he wasn't crazy.

"Go Liam", his sister commanded. He felt torn. He wanted to go to Buffy and reassure himself that she was alive but here was his sister in his arms. As if reading his mind she replied, "I'm always with you. But right now she needs you. Consider this you guys' guardian angel giving you a heads up".

"You make a wonderful angel. I love you so much", he said kissing her cheek and hugging her once more before taking his sisters advice and ran straight to Sunnydale.

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><p>If Angel was alive he would have been passed out or panting heavily but he wasn't. It also helped that he ran straight on adrenaline. He ran to the first place he thought of which was the mansion. He was planning on kissing her senseless and making love till the sun came down again. He didn't know what the future held but he was readily looking forward to it as long as it included Buffy.<p>

He was picturing her sleep in their bed and planning on assaulting her with kisses as soon as he entered the mansion which was why he growled violently when he was assaulted with Buffy's fear, and spike's scent. The smells became closer as he raced to the bedroom only to see an image he never thought he'll see. Buffy was held against the wall and spike was practically dry humping her like a dog in heat.

"Spike let me go", he heard Buffy pleaded as he started to rip open her shirt. Angel was momentarily frozen as he waited for Buffy to push him the hell off. When he tightened his grip on and leaned into kiss her he snapped and stormed into the room.

"You're not going anywhere. Your mine", he heard Spike purr.

"I beg to differ", he roared storming into the room.


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry it took soooooooooooooo long but i've seen to have lost my muse for Bangel along with having a busy schedule but not to worry im back!**

**Dont own Buffy...nor Angel!**

**thanks so much for the reviews and the love...**

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><p>Spike stopped his assault on Buffy and smirked."Well, if it isn't the old poof", he mocked. "As you can see me and my girl is kinda busy so sod off", he spat bring his attention back on the blond in front of him. "Now where were we", he asked resuming his previous position only to collide with Buffy's elbow pushing him backwards.<p>

Not even a second later he was tackled by Angel. Buffy never seen this side of Angel before, she knew what Angel was capable of but even Angelus had a playful demeanor to him. This angel in front of her was acting on pure cold hearted rage with a blood thirst of a million men. She watched as Angel kept punching Spike's face to it was barely recognizable. She hesitantly took another step towards them but she heard Angel growl of disapproval.

Angel was seeing red. His childe tried to seduce or rape his mate and he was going to pay with his life. It took awhile to realize that the red he was seeing was actually Spike's blood but still he didn't stop until Buffy stepped closer. Spike was unconscious; practically a punching bag now but he still growled menacing at her. He was defending her and he could tell she was probably scared of him. She reeked of fear and that only made him beat Spike harder. Angel thought about killing Spike; the last of his chidden. It was only fitting that he brought them into this world that he was the only one to take them out.

"Angel", Buffy yelled. "It's over, he gets it. I'm ok, I'm right here…don't do this", she pleaded.

"There was once a time where you would have been the first one to stake him, now you beg for his life lover….I tried for months to make you beg but you didn't even beg for your own life, but you beg for his", Angel stated in disgust keeping a close eye for signs to Spike coming to. "Do you love him now", he asked using his nails to cut Spike's throat.

"Never! The only life I have ever begged for was yours. I ask you to stop because I'm afraid of losing you Angel. I've never seen you like this" she cried.

Angel hesitated and looked up to meet her eyes. "You won't lose me. I promised you forever", he said smiling the first smile since he step foot in the mansion. Buffy smiled back.

A hand gripped his throat and tossed him across the room.

Buffy immediately took action sending a right hook to Spike's jaw, before blocking a hit of his own. She missed the kick he delivered to her midsection but she quickly recovered. The slayer idly wondered why it was taking Angel so long to recover when her slayer senses started to search for a stake instead. She could see dawn steady approaching and she grinned. All she had to do was wait and kick him out the window into the day. Spike next hook landed in the wall and Buffy dropped kicked him but he only brought her down with him. "I love your idea of foreplay", he grinned coming out on top.

Buffy kept trying to get the upper hand but was locked into a death grip. "Yea well too bad my husband don't", she said just when angel lifted him off Buffy. She raced towards the window tearing down the curtains lighting the light shine through. It wasn't one of her smartest idea she thought as thelight filled up majority of the room.

Buff cursed.

"Throw him in Angel", she yelled to where the two vamps where fighting where it was still dark at being careful of the now light room.

The blonde slayer watched in horror as Spike grabbed her love in the light of day. "Angel", Buffy cried as she raced toward the bed to get a blanket to cover her beloved.

"If I can't have you no one will", the blonde vamp said as he turned into flames before combusting to ashes.

"Angel hang on", she screamed as she pulled the sheets from the bed and threw them over him. "You're not in flames", she observed as she finally stopped freaking out.

Angel smiled at her. "Yea I don't know why either". He lazily through the blanket back to the bed just as Buffy jumped in his arms.

"I thought I lost you" she cried into his chest.

Angel just held her as he tried to gather his thoughts. When Spike grabbed him into the sunlight he thought it was all over. He hurried and looked for an escape but it was a pretty big window and it lit up majority of the room. Sure he could have ran back to that tiny corner but by the time he made it he would be dust. There were flames all around him but it didn't burn. He felt peace and during which he thought were his last seconds he thought of the girl now in his arms.

"Thump thump thump thump…it's a nice sound", his beloved cried. They were still in the middle of the room where the light poured through.

"Huh", he asked coming out of his thoughts inhaling her heavenly scent while having heavy case of déjà vu.

"Your heart beat Angel. It's a sound I never thought I'll hear again. It's a wonderful sound", she sighed. She heard his groan of disapproval and pouted. "Don't do this. This is our second chance. I don't care how or why…but it did happen. A wise vamp once told me everything happens for a purpose. This is our second chance. We're both alive again. Let's not waste another minute. No more mature plans, just you and me", she said gravely looking into warm chocolate eyes.

He hated breaking her heart, but someone had to be realistic. He held her closer repeating what he muttered so long ago. "How can we be together if the cost is your life".

"I'm going to die with or without you. I already did. Were stronger together, this time I want to die feeling loved. Truly loved Angel, you make me feel that".

"Buffy", he started to argue.

"Shut up and kiss me. We'll fight about it later", she reasoned and he complied.

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><p><strong>It isn't much but its something!<strong>


	17. Chapter 17

**thanks for the reviews im happy i got my muse back too...**

**dont own Buffy/Angl**

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><p>After Buffy and Angel finally pulled their selves apart from each other they called a meeting. It was more like Buffy doing her hardest to keep him in bed and Angel amazing self restraint when he looked down on her telling her "now was later".<p>

Buffy groaned and called the gang. Giles and the others were going to be so psyche seeing Angel in the sunlight but she wanted him all to herself. She managed to persuade him a little longer with food but they still made it over to Giles before sunset.

It was truly a Scooby reunion reminiscent of their high school days with the addition of Tara and Dawn. Giles stood by his textbooks whipping off his glasses. Anya and Xander were seated on a love seat. Willow and Tara were holding hands on the couch. Dawn was seating next to Angel and Buffy was trying to reel in the hormones and tune in to slayer mode. She still wasn't one hundred percent comfortable with her old friends but Angel presence alone made her calmer.

"Okay someone tell me how's dead boy is walking into the sun without turning into a dust bunny", Xander asked bluntly. After all these years he still hated the vamp but he had to admit that at least now Buffy would steer clear of Spike. Anya jumped off the chair. "Bunny, where", she screamed looking around frantically.

Angel looked alarmed and shared a knowing glance with Buffy. "Anya there is no bunnies and we don't know what happened. One moment Angel was beating Spike to the death and then he's standing there in the sunlight", Buffy said reliving that moment in a haze staring at Angel.

Dawn perked up."Spike was there…is he still there because of the sun. Angel why were you fighting him Spike is harmless", she chaste playfully hitting him on his shoulder but she still ended up rubbing her arm that was instantly sore. "Ouch", she whispered.

"What is with Summer girls and dead guys", piped Xander.

Angel face turned dark. "Vampires are not harmless Dawny. He wasn't a house pet and he is now gone", he stated gravely. He looked at his love and understood that the reason Spike was initially there was not up for peer discussion.

Dawn gasped. "gone-gone or gone out of town gone", she whimpered.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust gone Dawny. I'm sorry he attacked me and we had to do what we had to", Buffy spoke leaning against the stairs. She felt bad for her little sister. She really did care for the blond vamp. "I'm sorry dawn", she stated.

Dawn jumped off the couch and was all in Buffy's face. Buffy had to look up because her sister was towering her. "Are you really", she spat. "Would you like it if someone can up and stake Angel", she shouted.

Buffy swallowed and stepped closer to her little sister. "I said I was sorry but I'm not apologizing for doing my job."

"Your just jealous because Spiked loved me"

"First of all I'm mated to his sire so I really don't care other than being highly concerned Dawnie. Vampires don't love", she stated bluntly.

Dawn looked at her than to Angel."Angel loves you", she stated.

"Angelus doesn't", Buffy stated not missing a bet. "I fascinated him, became his obsession, a game that he didn't get bored with and maybe he did in his own way. I don't know and Angel isn't sharing but at the end of the day it's all a game about dominance. "

Dawn huffed and stomped up the stairs screaming. "I hate you", loud and clear.

"Well guess the honeymoon is over", buff chirped sarcastically plopping down next to Angel.

"Next order of business. I want to know wow Angel can throw Spike around like a rag doll and have a heart beat". Beat. "Giles", she called expecting him to have all the answers.

"Well Buffy, I'm really quite stumped at this one. Has anything other than this happened out of the ordinary', he asked his slayer.

Buffy frowned in deep concentration. "Oh my God", she cried.

"Do you mind sharing your old my G moment Buff", asked Willow.

"I wasn't coming back. I was happy with Angel but we kept tempting fate and they made me a deal", she answered but her mind was miles away.

Angel stiffened but he gently squeezed her had. "What deal beloved" he asked gently.

"What do you mean you didn't want to come back.", Willow asked outraged at the idea.

"yeah were your family Buffster" Xander added.

"you don't understand. You never will but Angel he helped me. he saved me from myself", she stated still in a trance.

"We could have helped", Will argue.

"Not like him", she reasoned. "Then she came to me telling me that I was messing up and plan but I didn't care. There were some bad things that happened because of it and I wanted to make it right but I couldn't. I just wanted Angel; it's selfish but I wasn't living a life without him".

"Who is she", asked Xander.

Buffy turned to Angel and he knew she was referring to Kathy. "A sister I never knew I had".

"The deal Buffy", reminded Giles.

"Oh right that", she smiled sadly. "Long story short Angel and I were changing the powers that be plans by staying together and me never returning. So I had to return fight some big evil, while Angel did his thing and after we averted another end of the world crisis we could finally be together, but I was expecting years and no curse. I mean I'm not complaining, just shocked. We had to leave in another time realm if that makes sense because Angel wasn't supposed to know about me being alive until much later".

"That explains why I thought I was going crazy. Your scent was all over the place. I swore you were there but the others said it was episodes. I guess the powers didn't count on me keeping those memories and losing my soul, huh", he asked taking Buffy into his arms. She rested her head on his chest content to just listen to the beating sound coming from it while his breath tickled her neck.

"You lost your soul", asked Giles completely complex. "Why on earth would you do that", he snapped like he was talking to a child and not someone who could be his great great great grandfather's father.

"I promised Buffy I wouldn't kill myself but with all those fresh memories of us only to be told they weren't true it was torture. I got really drunk one night and I found this seer. He was a gypsy and I threaten him to. I ended up turning him into one of my lackeys. I was going to kill, torture and turn everyone at A investigations but they went into hiding. Cord must have had a vision to get out of dodge. ", he laughed bitterly thinking back.

"Time must have moved differently between here and LA because I swear it took six months to finally track Cordy only to find out she wanted to be found. It was like an all you can eat buffet for awhile because there was no sun and then this messenger came to me asking me what I wanted most and if I was willing to do anything for it. So I trapped down and teamed up with them to destroy the beast and his master witched turned out to be Cordiela".

"Angelus isn't a team player, and why would he be stupid enough to bring back the sun. if I was a vamp, I would do a big happy dance that I could do what I want 24/7 without the sun", remarked Xander.

The watcher looked how Angel gazed down at his charge in his hands and saw both the demon and the man in a whole new light. Both Angelus and Angel weren't all that different. This fact startled him because now he wasn't sure what the man before him was capable of with a soul but he knew one thing for sure. Angelus did everything within his power to return to Buffy's side.

"So now you're human", the watcher stated.

Angel frowned.

"He has to be a little more than human", Buffy spoke up. "He was beating and throwing Spike around like a rag doll".

"Interesting, we must research this. Why don't you two go back to the powers and see if they can clarify the matter while we research", Giles advised.

Buffy beamed at the chance of getting out of Sunnydale.

"Not so fast", a voice said from the door way. "I can explain everything here and now".


	18. Chapter 18

Buffy beamed at the chance of getting out of Sunnydale.

"Not so fast", a voice said from the door way. "I can explain everything here and now".

"I'm sorry this is a close dysfunctional semi family function. Now bye bye" Xander said.

Angel was seething; it seems that Xander only got stupider with time. "Watch it Xander", Buffy stated trying to calm down.

There Kathy stood in her unearthly glory with her deep chocolate brown eyes and long flowing hair. "Brother. Sister", she asked tilting her head to the side in confusion. Her accent was as heavy as ever.

Buffy got off the couch and hugged her. "Don't mind Xander", she pleaded.

"Oh-oh you're an angel. Your essence is so pure", exclaimed Tara.

"Thank you, but my time here is limited. You two cause the powers so much production failures. They didn't foresee another way to keep the future intact with you two eliminating a lot of the key players".

Angel scoffed. "Spike was a key player. Heaven had heightened you seeing the good in everyone". His mind was engraving the image of his two favorite girls together smiling.

"Not my vision, but they felt you two now owe them. Both immortal forced to walk to the end of days as warriors. It was the only way to save you Liam with losing you in flames. You have a bright future in head of you. Just keep believing and loving and everything is going to be okay."

Buffy froze. "I can't go back", she stated brokenly looking at her in disbelieve.

"Buffy", angel called as she abruptly left the room.

"She needs a minute alone and I my Liam it's time to say goodbye for now", she said sadly giving one final hug.

"Can Buffy really not go back to heaven", he asked desperately.

"She belongs here with you yet the heaven morns for their fallen angel"

He cupped her cheek gently. "You haven't age a day. I'm sorry", he said. He slipped back into his old garlic tongue.

"Neither have you", she joked. "But there is nothing to forgive. I love you".

"I dreamed of hearing you say that for years. I love you too little sister".

She smiled a big smile and giggled. "Don't forget old man that your circumstances don't make you. Remind her of that for me. I'll be watching". Just like that she was gone in a white light.

The second she left the Scoobies were in an uproar. Willow was crying. '' I knew why Buffy hates me now. I mean she never said it but. Oh god I ripped her out of heaven. Angel I'm so sorry".

Angel face was expressionless. "You're alive because she stopped me", he stated and turned to leave in search of Buffy but was stopped by the watcher

"Angel, who was that young woman", Giles asked puzzled. He concluded that Buffy must have met her in heaven. Heaven, he thought. That was where the woman he loved as his own belonged right now.

Angel gave a hint of a half smile. "My baby sister".

Anya ever the tactless one asked, "She was really pretty for a dead girl, and didn't you kill your sister".

Angel gritted his teeth. "I'm going to find Buffy".

He found her staring at the fire hours later. She looked fragile and small but he knew the woman before was the most deadly skilled slayer he ever seen. He came up behind her and silently wrapped his arms around her. "I looked everywhere for you".

"I've been running everywhere from you", she said in response.

"You once told me forever sounded good with you", he said quietly kissing his mark on her. Buffy moaned at the attention. That was still the most sensitive spot on her, after all these years.

Buffy turned in his arms and was lost in those chocolate eyes. "It still does", she whispered. "I still look into my future and all I see is you. I'm scared but that's why I have you".

"You scared me for a second", he smiled lowering his lips to hers.

"You're going to bore from me", she said breathlessly snuggling into his chest.

"Marry me".

Buffy gasped and looked up. "What, Angel, yes...oh my god yes".

He picked her up and spent her around. Buffy giggled madly. Sure they were already married in each other hearts but now it would be official. "You always make me the happiest man in the world".

"I love you my Angel."

"And I've waited a century to love you Buffy Anne Summers."

"You're so corny, my love", she laughed.

"It's still true. So how about we start forever in the bedroom and tomorrow between finding out about this new enemy, we can find the A-I team and announce our engagement".

Buffy smiled and kissed him again. "I say that's the best offer I had all day".

Angel still couldn't believe that the love of his life was in his arms resting peacefully. A year ago he had a bittersweet goodbye with her when she came to L.A. he had the joy of her in his arms loving and kissing her only to be told she was dead moments after. A few months ago he had her back and woke up and was told it wasn't real. So tonight, he wanted to stay up and make sure she wasn't going to disappear. They had a long road ahead of them but the Mohra demon was right. They were stronger together. In live there is joy and death. There may not be much joy but death was always certain. He watched his beloved die too many times. She was always going to be ageless in his eyes but now for the first time he didn't have to worry about what would happen after her again.

"Angel", she sighed groggily.

"hm", he answered.

"Go to sleep, we'll make another like this tomorrow".

He kissed her forehead. "Well make another like this to the end of time love".

"Hmmmmm. Forever doesn't seem long enough".

They both feel into the first peaceful sleep they had in months.

i'm thinking about just ending it here because the story was bout Buffy and Angel finding their way back to each other but let me know if i should keep going. Maybe follow up with an epilogue or something. thanks for the love and patience and reviews...Chau! 


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